This is the first fiction book that I have read in over a year and it was great to get back into fiction with such a compelling novel. Thanks to my friend Deb who lent me this fantastic book!

The publisher describes The Slap as follows:

At a suburban barbecue, a man slaps a child who is not his own.
This event has a shocking ricochet effect on a group of people, mostly friends, who are directly or indirectly influenced by the event.

In this remarkable novel, Christos Tsiolkas turns his unflinching and all-seeing eye onto that which connects us all: the modern family and domestic life in the twenty-first century.

The book is set in Melbourne (my city!) and Tsiolkas describes parts of Melbourne so vividly that I can almost feel myself there. Within these Melbourne suburbs we gain an intimate view into the lives of these eight characters.

What I loved most about The Slap was the questions it made me ask myself:

• Is it okay to slap a child? No.
• Did I agree with the way the parents of the child handled the situation? No.
• Does this make me a hypocrite? Not sure.
• Am I the person who I wanted to be growing up?
• Have I compromised some of my values to achieve the life have?

As we follow the story from each characters point of view, not only do we hear what they say, but what they wish they had said and what they really think on a realm of contemporary family and domestic issues. As can happen easily, we don’t always say what we actually feel or think.

The Slap is a provocative and challenging read and one that will stay with me for some time.

EDIT: I had pre-written this post last Friday and since then The Slap has been awarded the2009 Commonwealth Writers’ Prize for South East Asia and The Pacific ($20,000) . Congratulations to Christos Tsiolkas.

Technorati Tags: Christos Tsiolkas, The Slap

• Book Review - Surprise!
• 10 Reading Comprehension Questions For Junior Primary
• 10 Ways To Encourage Children To Read
• Characteristics of Two (and a half) Year Old Behavior

My five year old daughter received this book from Santa last year. Santa was even clever enough to have it signed by the wonderful author Karen Andrews (Miscmum)!

I first heard this story when Karen read it at the Melbourne Writer’s Festival. I was impressed by the warmth of the story and the inspiration it would provide for young children.

We have read this book A LOT at home and when doing so even my older boys were eager to see what was going to happen on the next page. Children of all ages love a surprise!

After a number of nights in a row of reading Surprise! for her bedtime story, my five year old daughter, then drew her own Surprise to add to the collection in the book. Now when we have other children over at story time, we always have to read this story so they can have a Surprise.

Surprise can be bought online at MiscPress or ask for it at your local bookstore. It is a beautiful story showing how small acts can bring big smiles .

Technorati Tags: children's book, Surpirse!

• Can Women Have It All????
• 10 Reading Comprehension Questions For Junior Primary
• Aussie Blogger’s Secret Santa
• Six Word Memoir

Earlier this month I had a wonderful surprise in my inbox. I received an Amazon Gift Certificate from a lovely reader named Kristina from Croatia. Her message with the gift was as follows:

Hi PQ! I’m a big fan of your blog and you are a big inspiration to my everyday life with kids. So, I send you this small gift for your newborn baby. Regards from Croatia, Kristina

This really made my day, but I did not have any contact details to thank Kristina for her kindness, so I thought I would write my thanks on the blog for her to read. Thanks Kristina.

I bought for our new son the set of Boynton’s Greatest Hits: Volume 1as pictured above with the gift certificate. I love Sandra Boynton’s work and find these books really enjoyable to read to the children. The text is always humorous and the illustrations are gorgeous.

As the babies grow into toddlers, the Sandra Boynton Board Books also provide a great opportunity to reinforce concepts you are teaching them like colours, numbers, animals etc. The book “Blue Hat Green Hat” focuses on four key colours, “A to Z” looks at letters “Moo, Baa, La La La” looks at animals and at the sounds they make.

We have some of Sandra Boynton’s books but have mainly borrowed them from the library. It will be great to add to our collection, thanks again Kristina!

Technorati Tags: children's books, sandra boyton

• 10 Favourite Children’s Books - Babaganouski’s Choice
• How To Entertain A Toddler While Breastfeeding A Newborn
• 10 Tips For A Successful Toddler Bedtime
• 10 Quotes On The Importance Of Play

I have written a few consumption driven posts of late, so this is a bit of a balancing and perspective post for me. During the lead up to this Christmas period I have also begun reading Growth Fetish by Clive Hamilton.

It is certainly an interesting time to be reading this book, given the current financial crisis. Growth Fetish was first published in 2003. The basic premise of the book is that the constant mantra of economic growth over the last few decades has not led to a better or happier society.

Clive Hamilton argues that, far from being the answer to our problems, growth fetishism and the marketing society lie at the heart of our social ills. They have corrupted our social priorities and political structures, and have created a profound sense of alienation among young and old.

This book is not an easy read, but it definitely worth the effort. I am only a quarter of the way through it and it has challenged me to think about very personal issues like “What makes me contented?” and “What choices am I making with my consumption patterns?”.

I have a Business degree, so studied economics and like subjects during my time at university. The below explanation of the working of capitalism is the best that I have read.

Modern consumer capitalism will flourish as long as what people desire out paces what they have. It is thus vital to the reproduction of the system that individuals are constantly made to feel dissatisfied with what they have. The irony of this should not be missed: while economic growth is said to be the process whereby people’s wants are satisfied so that they become happier - and economics is defined as the study of how scarce resources are best used to maximise welfare - in reality economic growth can be sustained only as long as people remain discontented. Economic growth does not create happiness: unhappiness sustains economic growth.

Now that the state of economies around the world have fallen off the growth cycle, it will be interesting to see how society changes along with the economy. Economic growth did not bring the happiness that it promised - increased obesity, increased depression and suicide rates show this. What will the economic downturn bring?

Technorati Tags: consumerism, economic growth

• The Financial Crisis And The Impact On Children
• How Is Your Well Being?
• Book Review - Surprise!
• Are You Turning Your Child Into A Wimp?

Last week my 10 things was on Practical Christmas Presents For Children. This week I am continuing on a gift list theme, but specific to parenting books that I think would make a great practical Christmas gifts for parents.

I should note here that I have only included two that I have read myself, which are the last two on the list. The remaining books actually come from my wish list (hint to any of my family that might be reading this!!!!). If you have read any of them, I would love to hear what you thought of the book.

(1). Parents Please Don’t Sit on Your Kids - Clare Cherry
The subtitle of this book is “Alternatives to Punitive Discipline”. The book looks at constructive methods for handling anger, and help children develop social responsibility.

(2). Doing Anger Differently - Michael Currie
Adolescent boys can swing between silence and anger very quickly. This book

presents complex theoretical issues from the existing adolescent and aggression treatment literature in a set of clear and practical principles, which are illustrated with case studies taken from the author’s years of experience working with angry boys.

(3). The Literacy Wars: Why Teaching Children to Read and Write Is a Battleground in Australia - Ilana Snyder
This probably tells a little bit about my nerdy interests, like literacy education.

(4). Under Pressure: Rescuing Our Children from the Culture of Hyper-Parenting - Carl Honore
I have written previously on this blog about Honore’s book. I would love to have this book as a reference point for me to go to, so it can remind me that childhood is precious.

(5). Hidden Messages : What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children - Elizabeth Pantley
This book has been on my to read list all year, since I wrote about it back in January. This book emphasizes the importance of letting children do things for themselves.

(6). The Optimistic Child: A Proven Program to Safeguard Children Against Depression and BuildLifelong Resilience Martin E. Seligman
Seligman studies demonstrate that

“pessimistic children are at much higher risk for becoming depressed than optimistic children.” His mission here is to teach parents and other concerned adults how to instill in children a sense of optimism and personal mastery.

(7). My Mother Wears Combat Boots: A Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us - Jessica Mills
Jessica Mills is a touring musician, artist, activist, writer, teacher, and mother of two.

This book provides a clever, hip, and entertaining mix of advice, anecdotes, political analysis, and factual sidebars that will help parents as they navigate the first years of their child’s life.

(8). Unconditional Parenting - Alfie Kohn

Begins with the question “What do children need – and how can we meet those needs?” rather than “How can we get kids to do whatever we tell them?” Helps parents to move from techniques that emphasize control (and conditional acceptance) to an approach designed to help kids grow into good people.

(9). What’s the Hurry? - Kathy Walker
In a very easy to read style, this book provides parents with well-grounded information, ideas and advice about children as they move from pre-school to school.

(10). Children are People Too - Louise Porter
This would be the most referred to parenting book that I own. It is a parent’s guide to young children’s behaviour and covers all the hot topics like tantrums, hitting, eating etc.

Technorati Tags: Books, christmas gifts, parenting

• He’ll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men (Part 4)
• 10 Parenting Books That I Love!
• He’ll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men (Part 3)
• He’ll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men (Part 2).

During the month of August I have been making my way through my children’s favourite books, in celebration of Children’s Book Week (officially this week in Australia). So far we have had:

10 Favourite Children’s Books - Thinker’s Choice (9.5 y.o)
10 Favourite Children’s Books - Little Rascal’s Choice (7 y.o)
10 Favourite Children’s Books - Possum’s Choice (4.5 y.o)

Today we have Babaganouski’s favourite books at the moment. As he is only two (and not overly verbal yet) I have chosen the books that he chooses for me to read the most at story time.

(1). Slinky Malinki by Lynley Dodd
This is from the Hairy Maclary series by the wonderful New Zealand author. The rhyming is fun and Slinky has loads of personality.

(2). Rascal and Little Flora by Paul Jennings
Another series book, Rascal is a very cute dragon, but the highlight for Babaganouski is the dinosaur in this story.

(3). Hug by Jez Alborough
Such a simple story, told predominantly through the facial expressions of the little monkey.

(4). The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
This book really has stood the test of time. For Babaganouski, I think he likes it because he can stick his fingers in the holes!

(5). Wheels on the Bus
This is by far his favourite nursery rhyme at the moment and he loves to do the actions as we read the book. He loves the page with the baby crying.

(6). The Orange Book by Playschool
This is actually two books in one (Red Book and Yellow Book = Orange Book!). There is such a great mix of rhymes, activities, stories and great pictures that it really can keep a little one amused for hours.

(7). Where Is the Green Sheep? (Horn Book Fanfare List (Awards)) by Mem Fox
This was also a favourite of Possums. Even Babaganouski can join in on this one, saying things like bed, bath, moon, star etc. This is a book that definitely did deserve all its awards.

(8). Za-Za’s Baby Brother by Lucy Cousins
Even before I was pregnant, Babaganouski loved this story. Lucy Cousin’s illustrations are so appealing to little ones. He also likes it when I make the loud baby crying sound!

(9). Over in the Grasslands by Anna Wilson and Alison Bartlett
This book is based on a traditional rhyme and is great fun to read. Babaganouski has just started to try and count the animals with me now as well.

(10). Thomas’ Wonderful Word Book (Thomas & Friends)
I have to admit to skipping pages in this book. It is 57 pages long and has no real story but page after page of scenes of Thomas the Tank and friends. In the borders of many pages there are items that the child has to find in that particular scene.

We have been doing this book for months now and Babaganouski still loves it. I think he feels proud of himself when he finds all the required objects. (I think it is quite funny how I have subconsciously put this book last on the list, can you guess that I might be a little bit over it!!)

Technorati Tags: children's books, literature, toddler

• 10 Favourite Children’s Books - Possum’s Choice
• 10 Favourite Children’s Books - Little Rascal’s Choice
• 10 Favourite Children’s Books - Thinker’s Choice
• Children’s Book Council Awards

Image: Ahmed Rabea

This is part 4 in a review of the wonderful book on adolescent boys “He’ll be Ok: Growing gorgeous boys into good men” by Celia Lashlie.

If you would like to read the previous posts, you will find them here:

He’ll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men (Part 1)
He’ll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men (Part 2)
He’ll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men (Part 3)

Men’s Business: Letting It Happen
Lashlie through out the book has been very clear that during adolescence it is very much the time for mothers to move over and allow fathers a more active role. I have to be honest then and admit that I was at first disappointed to read the following in this chapter:

“I have absolutely no intention of telling men what to do”

Instead Lashlie explains:

“My main intention, in straying into the wolrd of fathers when this book is written primarily for mothers, is to honour men - their humour, their intuition, their strength and, above all else, their maleness.”

So in this chapter Lashlie tells stories of how the world looks from the perspective of an adolescent boy and reveals comments from boys on what they would like from their fathers.

After finishing the book, I do have a better appreciation for why the author took this approach and to an extent it is her example that I will have to follow during this period. I will need to trust my partner that he will step up and fill the needs of our adolescent boys, and will do so capably and without the need for my overt influence.

It doesn’t mean that I won’t have a role to play, it just means my role changes.

“Where at all possible raising a boy should be a partnership between his mother and father.”

For dad’s through the stories that Lashlie tells, the following themes become very clear:

“Your sons want you to step up, elbowing their mothers aside if you need to.”

“Your boys don’t want you to be anyone else; they just want you to be their dad.”

“All he wants is your time, even if it’s just five minutes a day>”

Growing a Good Man What It Takes
This book grew out of The Good Man Project which Lashlie ran through schools in New Zealand. An aim of the project was to establish an agreed definition of a good man.

However it was agreed by the school principals involved in the project that what they were looking for was far too fluid to be defined in a phrase or few words. (Out of interest the top three qualities listed by boys to make a good man were trust, loyalty and a sense of humour.)

Lashlie makes a concise summary at the end of the chapter about what are some key issues for adolescent boys and she has this last piece of advice on how to get our boys safely through this challenging period:

“What we have to remember is that we can only do it, mothers and fathers, parents and step parents, paretns and teachers, if we hold hands. We can’t do it alone.”

Technorati Tags: adolecence, fathers, mothers, parenting

• He’ll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men (Part 3)
• He’ll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men (Part 2).
• He’ll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men (Part 1).
• What Can Happen To Adolescent Boys

The winners of the Children’s Book Council Awards were announced on Friday. My older two children read with anticipation the winners in Saturday’s morning’s paper. Like most Australian school children they had voted from the short list for their favourite books at school and were keen to see what the judges had selected. Thinker had voted for Lucy Goosey and Little Rascal Cat which both won Honour Awards in the Early Childhood category. The rest of the winners are listed below:

Older Readers - Book of the Year 2008
WINNER: The Ghost’s Child by Sonya Hartnett
HONOUR: Marty’s Shadow by John Heffernan
HONOUR: Black Water by David Metzenthen

Younger Readers - Book of the Year 2008
WINNER: Dragon Moon by Carole Wilkinson
HONOUR: Sixth Grade Style Queen (Not) by Sherryl CLark. Illustrated by Elissa Christian
HONOUR: Amelia Dee and the Peacocl Lamp by Odo Hirsch

Early Childhood - Book of the Year 2008
WINNER: Pearl Barley and Charlie Parsley by Aaron Blabey
HONOUR: Cat by Mike Dumbleton. Illustrated by Craig Smith
HONOUR: Lucy Goosey by Margaret Wild. Illustrated by Ann James

Picture Book of the Year 2008
WINNER: Requien for a beast by Matt Ottley
HONOUR: The Peasant Prince by Anne Spudvilas. Text Li Cunxin
HONOUR: Dust by Colin Thompson and 13 other illustrators
NOTE: Some of these books may be for mature readers

Eve Pownall Book of the Year 2008
WINNER: Parsley Rabbit’s book about books by Frances Watts. Illustrated by David Legge
HONOUR: Girl Stuff: Your full on guide to the teen years by Kaz Cooke
HONOUR: Kokoda Track: 101 Days by Peter Macinnis
NOTE: Some of these books may be for mature readers

How did your favourite book go?

Technorati Tags: book awards, children's book

• 10 Favourite Children’s Books - Babaganouski’s Choice
• 10 Favourite Children’s Books - Possum’s Choice
• 10 Favourite Children’s Books - Thinker’s Choice
• 10 Books We Are Enjoying On The Holidays

Image by Manchester Library

During the month of August I have been making my way through my children’s favourite books, in celebration of Children’s Book Week (officially this week in Australia). So far we have had:

10 Favourite Children’s Books - Thinker’s Choice (9.5 y.o)
10 Favourite Children’s Books - Little Rascal’s Choice (7 y.o)

Today we have Possum’s choice who is five years old and at the moment the only girl in the children mix. (Possum said again today that it would be great if the new baby was a girl!)

I had to prompt her a little with why she chose these books, her answers were pretty succinct, so I have added a small note myself as well.

(1). Hunwick’s Egg by Mem Fox
Possum: The egg is a very beautiful colour.
Mum: A very sweet story about having a special friend.

(2). Belinda by Pamela Allen
Possum: The man looks funny in a dress.
Mum: A quirky tale with funny illustrations.

(3). Annie’s Chair by Deborah Niland
Possum: I like how the dog tries to cheer Annie up.
Mum: Shows how compromise can work!

(4). Rascal’s Trick by Paul Jennings
Possum: I like how Rascal’s trick scares the cat.
Mum: The Rascal Series are a fantastic introduction to reading for small children.

(5). Magic Beach by Alison Lester
Possum: I like the rhyming.
Mum: Beautiful examples of how you can use your imagination to have fun.

(6). Friends by Kim Lewis
Possum: It would be fun to collect eggs.
Mum: The story captures the volatility of friendships of young children.

(7). Where Is the Green Sheep? (Horn Book Fanfare List (Awards)) by Mem Fox
Possum: I like it because I can read it.
Mum: When Possum says she can read it, she means the she has read it with me so many times and with the help of the beautiful illustrations she can say all the text by herself!

(8). Snap went Chester by Tania Cox and David Miller
Possum: It is fun to read.
Mum: Children can anticpate what to say on the next page.

(9). Possum Magic by Mem Fox
Possum: I like how they travel around Australia.
Mum: A beautiful story that is a great way to introduce some Australian geography.

(10). Olivia by Ian Falconer
Possum: Olivia is funny.
Mum: You have to love a pig with attitude and style!

Next week we will have Babaganouski’s favourite books (2 y.o), as determined by the rotation in the night time reading schedule!

Technorati Tags: children's books

• 10 Favourite Children’s Books - Babaganouski’s Choice
• 10 Favourite Children’s Books - Little Rascal’s Choice
• 10 Books We Are Enjoying On The Holidays
• 10 Favourite Children’s Books - Thinker’s Choice

Image: Leonid Manchenkov

This is part 3 in a review of the wonderful book on adolescent boys “He’ll be Ok: Growing gorgeous boys into good men” by Celia Lashlie.

If you would like to read the previous posts, you will find them here:

He’ll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men (Part 1)
He’ll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men (Part 2)

Intuition and Wisdom: The Hidden Gifts
If you are the mother of a gorgeous boy in year 9, then this chapter is a must read. It will give you hope that they will indeed grow out of the monosyllabic stage. Lashlie in her conversations with year 12 boys was often

“taken aback by their ability to talk in depth and with amazing insight about hte hard issues.”

Stop Making His Lunch: What Mothers Should Do
This is a very forthright chapter from the author. Lashlie’s own personal experience, coupled with the experience from the Good Man Project showed her that:

Mothers, particularly white middle class mothers, are overly involved in the lives of their adolescence sons.

The need for mothers to take a lesser role in this time of her sons life, is a constant theme through out the book. So what is it that we should be doing then? Lashlie has these tips for us:

In the context if what else is happening in the life of an adolescent boy, does it really matter that there were clothes thrown on the spare bed in his room?

Every bit of information you push into his head before he turns 13 and the testosterone starts to move stays in there and will eventually re-emerge.

The first decision he makes should be nothing more significant than deciding to get out bed to make his own lunch so that he doesn’t spend the day hungry. It shouldn’t and doesn’t need to be deciding to put his foot on the accelerator, running a red light and dying.

The advice that Lashlie gives in this chapter does fit already with my philosophy as a parent. That is, to let children do what they are capable of. I do know though, that I will have to work on leaving some of the “small stuff” alone, like a messy bedroom, messy school bag and propensity to leave things to the last minute.

When His Father Isn’t There: The Single Mother’s Journey
Lashlie herself was a single parent, so is well qualified to talk about this issue. Again she notes that if she had the knowledge that she had now, she would have done many things differently with her own son.

I assumed that to ask for help would be to admit failure in the raising of my son. Asking for help from good men would have made the journey easier.

Next week is the final part of this series on He’ll Be Ok. After having Lashlie tell us how important it is for mothers to move aside and allow fathers to play a bigger part in the life of their adolescent son, we finally get to hear her advice to them. I have to say, it wasn’t what I expected.

Technorati Tags: adole, parenting

• He’ll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men (Part 4)
• He’ll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men (Part 2).
• He’ll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men (Part 1).
• What Can Happen To Adolescent Boys