managing your inner voice

Managing Your Inner Voice – Stamping Out Negative Self Talk

Today’s post is part of my series on Health and Fitness for mums and is written by Julie from Beautiful You By Julie and is looking at mental health. I write quite a bit about physical health on the blog, but have not really touched on mental health.  Julie is a registered Medicare mental health practitioner and works with people to walk them on a path back to stability, wholeness, and peace.   On Julie’s blog she shares posts that aim to challenge our  limiting beliefs and life patterns, so we can reach our true potential.  A recent favourite of mine is one on “Comparisonitis.  The dis-ease of comparing yourself to others.”  


You have one.  No matter your age, sex, colour or dress size.  It’s with you every day and sometimes you may even hear it in your sleep.

It’s your inner voice.

Sometimes it may speak to you with kindness, encouragement and compassion.  Other times it may feel and sound like a broken record of negativity.

It’s easy enough to think your inner voice is not an actual part of you when it’s saying or even yelling things at you that you don’t want to hear.  But it is a part of you and actually ‘owning’ it and taking responsibility for what it’s saying and how that makes you feel, can be a huge part of the puzzle of what it takes to be a happy and confident person.

In essence – your inner voice is you speaking not just aloud but inside your mind too.  It is a creation of yours.   And if you’re not already aware – that’s actually an amazing and wonderful thing.


Because it means that if you create it – you can control it.

negative self talk

However, sometimes when we feel overwhelmed as Mums, women, wives, partners, daughters, employees, entrepreneurs (and all the other ‘hats’ we wear!) we can think that we are not as in control of things like our inner voice as much as we really are.  But we always, always are, and so if you’re struggling and wrestling with your inner voice being stuck in a negative groove – it’s time to harness it and bring it into a more positive space.

And you absolutely can do that.  It’s something I see my coaching and counseling clients learn and change for themselves for the better all the time.  And even I’ve learned how to do it too which I shared in my Tedx Talk ‘Compassionately Questioning the Voice Within.’

And yes, you can too.  Here are my best tips how…

Slow down and question your thoughts

Ask yourself ‘What’s really going on here?’ instead of blinding believing that negative thought that’s telling you you’re not good enough or can’t do something is right.  Is it really right?  Really?  Give yourself the chance to find out by at least questioning it.


If you’re feeling overwhelmed and stuck inside your head, put down what you’re doing or shift from where you are and take five big deep breaths in and out.  Fill your lungs with oxygen.  If you can step outside and do it – there’s big bonus points for that.

Write it out

If you’re having trouble expressing out loud what’s deeply troubling you or something is negatively running over and over in your head, pick up a lovely notebook and pour your heart out in words.  Read over it gently and without self-criticism.  Where can you see options for taking positive action?

Break the cycle

You will never get a different result if you keep doing the same thing over and over again, or listening to the same negativity over and over again.  Have a brainstorm with yourself on how you can switch things up. You’ll be amazed at what might happen – for the good.

Ask for help.  It’s a courageous, self-caring and positive thing to do.  A friend, a loved family member, a professional – go to your ‘go to’ people if your self-talk is really dragging you down and not where it should be – which is lifting you up.

Get creative

When was the last time you did something fun and creative and soul giving just….because?  Letting your creative juices come out to play through painting, furniture restoration, drawing, mosaics, writing – anything you love – so often lights up your brain cells in a way that then allows you to think about things differently and with more clarity and positivity.

Move your body

Turn up your favourite tunes and dance.  Strap on your sneaks and go for a walk.  Pump it out at a gym class you love.  Wrstle with your dog in the backyard.  Take your kidlets to the park and PLAY with them – not just watch.  Get your blood and endorphins pumping.  It’s a total thought and mind shifter.

Make a vision board

If you’re stuck and thinking there’s no way out or finding it hard to shift negative thoughts – create a beautiful pin board filled with images, quotes, textures and trinkets you love, and a vision of where you truly want to be when you are unstuck.  Let it increase your manifestation mojo and give you a beautiful representation of where you want to go and how you want to feel.  The chances of it happening when you can visibly see it increase stratospherically!

Be compassionate and caring

Towards you.  So often when we are dealing with a negative mindset we then beat ourselves up for even having the negative mindset which only makes things worse.  Ease up on you ok?  Think and act compassionately and with love and care towards yourself.  Ask yourself what someone who loves you would recommend?  And do it.

Wishing you many positive thoughts beautiful you.  Don’t ever lose sight of the fact you can turn negative thoughts into positive ones and you can learn to speak more compassionately and kindly to yourself.

You can create the inner voice and inner world you want.


JulieJulie Parker is a certified life and business coach and clinical counselor for women who want to shine with confidence and take magnificent strides towards beautiful businesses and lives.  Julie supports her clients to sift through their dreams, set crystalline goals, dissolve limiting beliefs and celebrate their successes as they begin to live their song.  At Beautiful You, Julie shares inspiring images and empowering words to help women claim their brilliance. Find her online at where you can download her free guide ‘101 Tips to Living Your Most Real, True and Beautiful Life, Facebook and Twitter.

Do you ever go into battle with your inner voice?