This is part of my monthly series on Parenting Teenagers.
The teenager is currently on a quest to stay up later. He however has been getting up later in the mornings as it is and while he has not been late for school, he has left the house with his belongings all over the place, sometimes without breakfast and sometimes without his retainer in his mouth.
I have found part of getting along with a teenager is to show some level of flexibility. So we wrote up a checklist of the things he needs to do before he leaves in the morning. If he can do this for five mornings in a row, then the later bed time is his. He isn’t actually physically referring to the checklist, but it works as a reference point for me and is a symbol of our agreement.
This has been going of for almost two weeks and he is yet to make it past two mornings in a row, but the last couple of mornings he has seem more focused and determined to get everything done, so it may happen!
A raising teens checklist
Michael Grose is the author of 8 parenting books and is the founder of the Parentingideas website who work to inspire parents to raise happy, confident kids and resilient young people.
They recently published a fantastic checklist for parents of teenagers. It lists 10 strategies for raising teens and has the philosophy that teenagers want increased independence but they also need to understand that with that independence along comes increased responsibility.
With permission I have listed the title of each strategy, but I highly recommend parents download the two page PDF here – Raising Teens Checklist. It is a great reference guide for navigating your relationship with your teen:
- Hand over power and responsibility to teenagers.
- Set limits for identity formation (as well as safety).
- Use choices and consequences like a good cop.
- Use a problem-solving approach individually.
- Mess with their minds – use facts, not scare tactics.
- Communicate as if you are going for a job interview.
- Choose your battles wisely – don’t sweat the small stuff!
- Open up the door to mentors and the wider community.
- Talk to other parents.
- Don’t let them drop out of the family.
The Parenting ideas facebook page also regularly shares great parenting info and is worthwhile liking to have their info come into your feed.
Do you use checklists as a parenting tool with your kids?