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My History With The Cat Napping Baby

With the exception of our first son, once our babies reached four months old, their sleeping during the day turned into cat napping. By cat napping, I mean that they sleep for somewhere between 30 - 45 minutes then wake up.

Those of you who have little ones with most likely be familiar with the sleep cycle of babies. Babies sleeping at this age consists of alternating active and quiet sleep periods of 20–50 minutes each. When baby wakes between these cycles, sometimes they can’t go back to sleep.

(Check out these websites if you are after more information on sleep cycles Raising Children and Baby Centre. )

As I noted at the start Thinker our first baby didn’t fall into the cat napping category. After an initial steep learning curve, we got to know each other and he soon worked himself into a routine of 4 hourly feeds with at least 2 hour sleeps between them. He also started sleeping through from 3 months and never really woke over night again.

So when Little Rascal, our second son came along and at about 3 months starting waking every 45 minutes during the day, I found this a bit of a shock and a little frustrating. At 4 months he started sleeping though at night, but during the day he was still waking at 45 minutes, tired and unhappy.

From when he was 4 months old, each time he would wake, I would sit by his cot, patting, gently rocking him, just placing my hands on him, etc - anything really to try and get him to go back to sleep. I tried for long periods of time and then would eventually give up and carry him around until it was time for another feed.

Not long after he turned 6 months, Little Rascal started sleeping for longer periods and most importantly it would be over the golden hour, so I knew he had made it through a sleep cycle. These sleeps gradually built up to over 1.5 hours twice a day and I started to feel a little more sane. Having a baby with you almost constantly during the day is exhausting and doesn’t allow for a lot of work to be done.

Then when our daughter came along and she slept well for the first three months, I thought we might be spared the cat napping. But it was not to be. You could almost set a clock by her 40 minute wake times. This time I was determined not to be so obsessed about sleeping. When she woke, I would go to her and would try for a 5 -10 minutes and see if she would go to sleep. I could usually tell if she would and if it looked like she wouldn’t then I would just get her up and start over.

By the time 6 months had come around, Possum also started sleeping longer and fell into two decent sleeps a day. It did take her until about 7 months until she slept through at night, but she fed quickly over night and would go back to sleep without any problems.

Baby number 4 followed almost the exact same path as baby number 3. This time I anticipated that from 4 - 6 months, there would be little great sleeping in the day, so when it happened, there was not the frustration that I experienced with baby number 2.

Our beautiful baby number 5, has inherited the cat napping gene too, but he has been waking at erratic time intervals from 30 - 50 minutes. Another difference with him is that with a small pat for 5 minutes or so, he is actually going back to sleep most of the time - not always though!. This week we have even had sleeps exceeding 1.5 hours without waking which is truly exciting. In terms of night sleep, he is regularly making it from 7pm until 5am or 6am if a I am really lucky.

Strategies For Coping With A Baby That Cat Naps

As my experience has grown with the cat napping baby, I have created a few strategies for myself so that I can cope and not go crazy with a baby that is awake a lot during the day:

Feed, Play, Sleep With Flexibility

I am a firm believer in the feed, play, sleep routine for babies, but trying to follow the feed, play, sleep routine for babies in a large family is difficult.

Baby number 5 can wake at 6am and should really be going back to sleep at around 7.45 - 8.00am, but that is the time that we head off to school. We walk to school, but he is generally so excited by so much to see and all the kids, that he doesn’t drop off until the way home and may have 30 minutes in the pram.

Alternatively we may have been out all morning and baby gets little to no sleep, so as soon as I start the feed, he falls off to sleep. I let him feed like this for a while then place in the cot asleep. Not desirable, but it happens frequently and there is no point stressing about it.

Accepting That The Baby Is A Cat Napper

My first experience with a cat napper as I noted above, was with our second child. I was determined that I could “make him” go back to sleep. This didn’t happen for me and it really just left me feeling exhausted and frustrated. Since that experience when I start to see the signs that the baby is cat napping, I accept that for the next couple of months that there may not be much consistent day sleep.

I have decided not to spend hours trying to get babies to go back to sleep, I will try for a short time, listen to their cry and determine whether or not they are likely to go back to sleep and if not, get them up and move on. We are generally both happier with this.

Preparation Before They Go To Sleep

If I need to complete a task that is difficult to do with baby around then I try to prepare in advance as much as I can. For example, I can generally cook our family meal in 30 - 45 minutes. So while baby is up, I will set everything up so that once he has fallen to sleep, I can quickly get to cooking it, so I can maximise my time whilst he is asleep.

Use A Baby Sling / Carrier

Often our baby is still very tired after his quick 30 minute nap and thankfully he likes being placed in the baby carrier. I will go about my business (eg vacuuming, doing the washing etc) with him in it and quite often he will get another short nap in. This really helps as he will then feed better next time round.

Get Out And About

I will come home after school drop off in the mornings, put baby to sleep and see what happens. If he has a short sleep and won’t go back to sleep, I will use this time to go out and run errands if there is any to be done. Days can seem very long with a wakeful baby, if I don’t break it up with outings.

Stop And Enjoy

It is easy to keep working through the day, so taking the opportunity to just sit on th floor with the little ones and playing can be a great way to recharge.

This Is What Some Babies Do

Babies sleeping can sometimes seem a competitive sport amongst mothers and it is easy to become obsessed by it like I did with my second child. But I like to remind myself of a quote from Robyn Barker’s fantastic baby bible “Baby Love”:

During the first six month’s of a baby’s life a routine is more for adult convenience rather than something that is essential for a baby’s well being.

As long as baby is happy and I am happy all is okay. And it is always helpful to tell myself “That this too will pass!”. When enduring this stage of my babies life it can seem never ending, but they do grow up so quickly and it will eventually be over.

Did your baby cat nap? How did you cope with the short sleeps?

Technorati Tags: babies, cat napping, sleep

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This post is part of a series of activities that can help increase your child’s independence. This activity was for my child who is 10 years old, as was the below post:

• Cooking Dinner

Other activities which are aimed at younger children (aged 2 - 6) can be found below:

• Juicing oranges
• Cutting Food
• Grating Food
• Making Their Own Lunch

If you have been reading the blog for a while, you may remember when Thinker turned 10 years old last year, he was then allowed to walk home from school on his own. Thinker has chosen to continue doing this everyday since (with one or two exceptions when it was pouring with rain), even though either myself or our lovely neighbour is at school at the end of the day to pick up the other kids.

Thinker and I had talked about what other things that he would like to do now that he is getting older. One of the things that we agreed on (not all were agreed on by both sides) was catching a train into the city (Melbourne) by himself.

To put this in perspective, we live about 13kms east of Melbourne CBD. We used to live inner city and catch the train frequently, but even in the burbs now, we still catch the train every couple of months and head into the city. The train station in our suburb and at the station at Flinders Street are familiar to Thinker.

So a couple of weeks ago, we organised for Thinker to:

• Walk to our local train station.
• Purchase his train ticket.
• Catch designated train to Flinders Street Station.
• Walk from Flinders Street Station to his dad’s work (other side of city).
• Meet his dad, to have dinner.
• Come home with dad.

Before he went, we made sure the following happened:

• He had a map, with directions drawn on.
• He had calculated what time train he needed to catch to meet his dad at 5pm.
• He had a mobile phone, with relevant contact numbers.
• He had coins for ticket and emergencies.
• He was confident and happy to make the trip.

Thinker was very excited about making the trip. At one point on the day of the trip Thinker came up and told me it was only 102 minutes until he had to leave! I was excited for him, but to be honest also very nervous. I know he is capable and responsible, but letting go and new “firsts” like this is always a nervous time for me.

When the time came for him to leave, I kept calm and didn’t make a huge fuss, when I really felt like hugging and squeezing him tight. He set off happily and confidently and
it was just left for me to wait now.

I had made his dad promise to ring me as soon as he made it to his work. Within about an hour from leaving, Thinker rang to tell me that he was with dad! I felt relieved and happy for him. I could hear that Thinker was incredibly proud of himself and had a great sense of achievement.

Being able to catch the train into the city to meet his dad, is a great achievement. He will now be able to do this to meet his dad and go and see football games, cricket etc. In about 18 months Thinker will be catching trains to school, in situations where they will be large groups of boys. Knowing how to travel safely and sensibly on public transport is an important skill for him to have.

I have shared this story with other parents, the majority of which have been supportive of what we have done. There have been some though, who think that he was too young to do this by himself. Mr I and I were comfortable that the timing was right for him to do this. Every child and every family is different, so this may not be an activity for every 10 year old, but it certainly was a successful one for our 10 year old.

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This post is part of a series of simple activities that can help increase your child’s independence. These activities are aimed at children aged two and above. Previous posts can be found below:

• Juicing oranges
• Cutting Food
• Grating Food
• Making Their Own Lunch

We have been teaching our eldest son Thinker, who is 10 to make an evening meal. He likes the idea of cooking dinner for the family and has been very proud of his results.

We have taken a staged approach to build up to him cooking the evening meal as follows:

Select The Meal To Cook.

We decided to let Thinker choose the meal he would like to cook. We felt that he would be more likely to enjoy the process if he actually loved the meal he was going to cook. He chose Tacos. This was a perfect choice for a first meal. It is simple, requires only minimal exposure to heat and at his age, after some practice he should be capable of cooking the meal completely on his own.

Watch Dad Cook The Meal.

Although cooking Tacos does not really need a recipe, Mr I made one for himself when he learnt to cook them (cooking is not his strong point!). You can print out the recipe from this link: Tacos Recipe.

We also made a conscious decision to let Mr I take him through cooking the meal. This was important for a couple of reasons. One was to show him that men can and do cook and secondly, Thinker is at a stage of his life where he is showing a distinct preference for being taught by his dad and not his mum. This does make me a little sad, but I need to respect that.

Thinker then watched his dad read the steps in the recipe and carry them out, asking questions along the way. He could also make some notes on the recipe, if he wanted to remember things for later.

Cooking With Assistance.

The next stage was for Thinker to lead the cooking process, but with an adult present for assistance. Dad stayed with him the whole time and offered advice when asked and prevented any major issues occurring.

Repeat Cooking.

I have found that to become skilled in cooking a particular meal that you need to cook it at regular intervals. Luckily all the children love Tacos, so they have been on high rotation on the menu plan and Thinker has been the head chef! Thinker cooked the meal three of times with ad hoc adult assistance.

Cooking By Himself.

We allowed Thinker to tell us when he felt that he was confident to cook by himself. Naturally mum and dad are there to help if needed, but there is no checking up on him and he is responsible for putting the meal together, including setting up the table for everyone to serve themselves.

At the moment we have been cooking the Tacos on the weekend. Once I feel that he has really mastered the meal, I will have him cook this one night during the week. This will be a tremendous help for me as I will be able to listen to the younger children’s reading, feed the baby etc while the meal is being cooked.

For Thinker this has been an important step in increasing his independence and life skills. When his siblings thank him for the tasty meal, you can see the pride in his face and sense of accomplishment he feels.

We will stick with him just cooking Tacos for a while and then will start the process over again. What meals have you got the kids whipping up for you?

Technorati Tags: children cooking, parenting

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This post is part of a series of simple activities that can help increase your child’s independence. These activities are aimed at children aged two and above. Previous posts can be found below:

• Juicing oranges
• Cutting Food
• Grating Food

Having a child make their own lunch is a very simple but liberating activity for a child. It is also the culmination of the previous independence building activities.

Equipment:

• 1 small juicer.
• 1 orange.
• 1 small glass.
• 1 small grater.
• 1 Plate.
• A small piece of cheese
• 1 small carrot.
• 2 slices of bread.
• Butter.
• 1 small knife.

When To Do It:

Lunch or snack time! It is also a great activity to do with a couple of children. Each can work on a task and help put the lunch together.

What To Do:

This activity is for the child to make a glass of orange juice and a grated carrot and cheese sandwich for their lunch.

With all these practical life tasks I give a display of the activity first without words, allowing the child to take in the actual hand movements required. Too much talk can distract them from observing how the task is done.

1. Have the child juice the orange and pour it into the glass.
2. Show the child how to set the table with a place mat and place their drink on the right hand side.
3. Prepare the ingredients for the sandwich - grate the carrot and cheese.
4. Place the bread on a chopping board.
5. Show them how much butter to place on the knife.
6. Show the child how to start at the top of the slice of bread and make their way down to the other end and have them do this for two slices of bread.
7. Allow them to place the toppings onto the bread and place the other slice on top.
8. Have them cut the sandwich and place it on their plate.
9. Have them take it to the table and sit with them and enjoy lunch together .
10. Finish the activity by having the child clean up . This could be as simple as placing the dishes in the dishwasher and food scraps in the compost or you can have them hand wash all the materials used.

Technorati Tags: Child Development, independence, parenting

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This post is part of a series of simple activities that can help increase your child’s independence. These activities are aimed at children aged two and above. Previous posts can be found below:

• Juicing oranges
• Cutting Food

Equipment:

• 1 small grater. (I picked up a couple of these graters at Kmart a couple of years ago. I am not sure if they still stock them though.
• Plate
• Cheese

When To Do It:

This is another activity that you can set up for your child when you are cooking. They can grate a small component of what you have to grate for the meal and gain the satisfaction from having contributed to preparing the meal that the family will eat.

What To Do:

With all these practical life tasks I give a display of the activity first without words, allowing the child to take in the actual hand movements required. Too much talk can distract them from observing how the task is done.

1. Show which side of the grater to use.
2. Emphasise the angle with which you hold the cheese before you begin grating.
3. Position the other hand on the handle of the grater.
4. Begin grating the cheese.
5. As the child masters this activity, they can then begin grating harder items like carrots etc.
6. Finish the activity by having the child clean up . This could be as simple as placing the dishes in the dishwasher and food scraps in the compost or you can have them hand wash all the materials used.

Technorati Tags: children independence, parenting

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Our beautiful little boy is three and half months old now. It is amazing how much you learn with each child. Some of this stuff I wish I knew when I had my first and second children, so I thought I would share some coping strategies for life with a new baby.

(1). Enjoy your baby.

I have deliberately put this tip first. The heading of the post can sound like babies are all hard work, but this is definitely not the case. It is hard work, but work which reaps amazing results. Don’t take it so seriously, that you don’t enjoy your beautiful baby.

Remember, the house will eventually become tidy, the baby will eventually sleep and eventually you will not be in a sleep deprived fog. The baby however will grow up quickly and that precious time cannot be made up.

(2). Trust your instincts.

As parents you know your baby, trust this knowledge and try what you think will work for your baby. Be confident in your ability as a parent. (This is especially true as the baby grows into a toddler - children can smell doubt or fear!)

(3). Filter the advice from others.

Everybody has advice for new parents. I have always listened to advice of other parents, if they have been there before they may have answers for you. I do however filter out advice that does not fit my parenting style.

Naturally I didn’t have a parenting style to start out with, but if I tried something and it didn’t feel right, made me anxious or worried, I wouldn’t do it. You must feel comfortable and confident with how you parent your baby.

(4). What Sleeping Problem?

Someone once gave me this piece of advice on babies and sleeping:

It is only a sleeping problem if you are unhappy with the sleeping situation.

When deprived of sleep it is so easy to become slightly obsessed about how much your baby is sleeping (speaking from personal experience!). Lots of people have views on where baby should sleep, how long baby should sleep and when baby should start sleeping through the night. In reality I don’t believe that there is any one “right” way to approach baby’s sleep. Don’t worry what other people think, if you are happy with how you and baby are sleeping, don’t feel pressured to change.

(5). Communicate with your partner.

Don’t assume that your partner knows what you are feeling or what your day is like. Especially if you are the mum and are at home full time, don’t keep your feelings to yourself. I have found that doing this then means a rather big eruption of feelings, when there are too many to hold in!

(6). Prepare In Advance.

As you may have noted from this blog, I love a bit of planning. However, my planning obsession really only came to its full light once I had children. Doing things in advance when you get the time, means that if everything starts to fall apart later on in the day, then you won’t feel so stressed.

Cooking the evening meal in the morning is a great example of that. Late afternoon, early evening can be a challenging time with a new baby, so if you don’t have to worry about cooking then, you can just spend time tending to the baby’s needs.

(7). Take Nana Naps.

I love an afternoon nap. Even now, a couple of times a week I will lie down for an afternoon nap when our baby and three year old are having their afternoon sleeps. It means that by the time the 5.00pm rush hits, I am not so tired and I have greater patience with the children.

(8). Readjust your standards.

Once upon a time, when I would clean my house, I would do it in one session. I could then sit back and reflect on how clean and tidy everything was. With a new baby (and 4 other children) I simply do not have the blocks of spare time to do this. I have adjusted my standards and accept that it takes me a number of days to go through the house and have all the cleaning done.

Depending on how much your baby sleeps and how you have recovered from the birth, you may need to adjust your standards on things like ironing, cleaning, fancy meals etc.

(9). Get outside of the house.

Exercise and fresh air are great for you and the baby. Simply going for a short walk each day, can do wonders for your mood. It can also be quite isolating being home full time with a new baby. Join a mother’s group or find a regular social outlet that you can participate in, so you can have adult stimulation.

(10). Acknowledge your work.

When you have a little baby, it is important that you acknowledge all the things that you have managed to achieve in a day. Don’t focus on what didn’t get done. Kathy at Zucchini in Bikinis wrote a great post on this issue called Achievement.

At the moment with our little baby if I manage to get the children to school with a healthy lunch and on time, cook a decent meal, complete the after school activities and do a load of washing, it is a great day.

I have to remind myself not to worry about the pile of ironing waiting for me, dusting which needs to be done, oven which needs to be cleaned, toy cupboard which needs reorganising etc etc! Having a new baby is a time in our life when completing the essential tasks is a great achievement.

What coping strategies would you offer a new parent?

Technorati Tags: baby, parenting, sleeping

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Our little baby was three months last week - a quarter birthday as explained by one of his siblings. He is a beautifully calm little character and seems quite unfazed by the hustle and bustle his life contains.

Even fifth time around there is so much to love and be amazed by in our new baby:

• The way his eldest brother can make him giggle. A tiny sounding chuckle that makes his whole face beam.
• How upon seeing me peer into his bassinet as he wakes from a sleep, he almost wriggles out of his skin with excitement.
• The way his mouth opens and moves in anticipation as I move him into the nursing position.
• The tightness of his little grip, as he catches and then holds on to my necklace when I try to lie him down.
• The beautiful sighs that he exhales during a contented sleep.
• The way his bottom lip will quiver before crying when he gets a fright.
• Just how much my heart fills with love when I hold him near me.

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Over the next month I will be presenting a series of simple activities that can help increase your child’s independence. These activities are aimed at children aged two and above.

Last week I went through the example of juicing oranges. Today it is teaching your child to cut using a child sized knife.

Equipment:

• 1 child sized knife
• 1 chopping board
• Soft food items to cut like bread, cheese, banana, lettuce, melon etc

When To Do It:

I find this a great activity to set up for the preschooler when I am cooking. They can work along side me with a purpose. As they have something important to do (cut up their own food and then eat it!), I find that it allows me to move through my cooking quite quickly with fewer interruptions.

What To Do:

With all these practical life tasks I give a display of the activity first without words, allowing the child to take in the actual hand movements required. Too much talk can distract them from observing how the task is done.

1. Display how to hold the knife correctly in your hand.
2. Point out where the fingers should be on the knife.
3. Position the other hand on the food item, highlighting its distance from the knife.
4. Begin cutting the food with slow movements.
5. Avoid taking over the task for the child. Children will not always perfect this skill the first time, so we can help them build up the skill, by allowing them to practice regularly.
6. Finish the activity by having the child clean up . This could be as simple as placing the dishes in the dishwasher and food scraps in the compost or you can have them hand wash all the materials used.

EDIT: I have had a number of people ask about the knife used in the photo. It is ours and I bought it from a toy catalogue as part of a fundraiser. It is a Kiddie Food Kutter Knife.

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My eldest son attending a Montessori preschool when we lived in the inner city. There were many things that I loved about the Montessori approach and I learnt a great deal from the preschool Montessori teacher.

My other children to date have now attended a play based pre school which I am very happy with. I have however continued with teaching my children “practical life” activities at home which I learnt from Montessori.

“Practical life activities give the child an understanding of his environment and how it works……….This work builds the child’s self-esteem, making him feel of value. In addition, practical life activities also develop manual dexterity.”
Montessori World Educational Institute

I like to introduce these activities to my preschoolers for the reasons outlined above and also primarily because they really enjoy them and it helps increase their independence.

One of the first activities that I attempt with my children is juicing an orange. This can be started with children as young as 18 months.

Equipment;

1 Small juicer
1 Orange halved
1 Small glass

What To Do:

A great tip that I also learnt from my son’s Montessori teacher is that you can bombard a child with too much information when trying to teach them a new skill. She recommended that it is best to give a display of the activity first without words, allowing the child to take in the actual hand movements required. Too much talk can distract them from observing how the task is done.

1. In slow movements show the orange and point out the middle to the child.
2. Then place the orange on to the juicer, emphasing with your movements that the middle of the orange, matches up to the middle of the juicer.
3. Making slow and strong wrist movements, begin to squeeze the orange.
4. Point to the juice appearing under neath the juicer.
5. Continue to squeeze the orange until it is finished.
6. Show the completed orange to the child, so they can see how it should look at the end.
7. End the demonstration, by slowly pouring the orange juice into a glass.
8. Then encourage the child to repeat these steps themselves.
9. It requires strength to squeeze an orange, so it may take them some time to work through this step. We need to give them time to work this out and not take over the activity
10. Children will not always perfect this skill the first time, so we can help them build up the skill, by allowing them to practice regularly.
11. Finish the activity by having the child clean up . This could be as simple as placing the dishes in the dishwasher and the oranges in the compost or you can have them hand wash all the materials used.

Not only does this activity teach the child how to make themselves an orange juice, but it also increases strength and manipulation in the wrist, which will help the child when they begin writing.

Technorati Tags: Child Development, Children's Activities, independence

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Image by a.drian

To compliment my post on 10 Ways To Encourage Children To Read, I thought I would put together 10 Ways To Encourage Children To Write. Although fond of reading, my two boys need a bit of encouragement to practice (neatly!) their handwriting. Putting this list together now was good timing for us, as it is something that we need to do more of in this house.

A couple of notes about this list:

• There is some cross over between this list for writing and the list for reading.
• Some activities are suitable for younger children and some for older children, depending on their skills.

1. Shopping List

This idea helps me as well. When I am feeding the baby I can tell my children what to put on the shopping list and they can write it down for me!

2. Birthday Cards

This is a great task for new writers as it is not overwhelming. I write on a piece of paper “To Child’s Name” then “From Child’s Name” and they can copy this onto the card. Depending on how they have managed this task, you can then get them to write the greeting in the middle.

3. Letter Swap

I first heard about this idea on Curly Pops Blog. Christie at PigeonPair organised a mail swap, where each child would be given 5 names to write to (even international ones) and would then receive 5 letters in return. Christie is organising another one in May, which I intend to add my kid’s names to.

Alternatively you could just organise this with friends and family, so as to encourage you child to write so they receive!

4. Competition Entering

Competitions are everywhere. Cereal boxes, supermarkets, bakeries etc. Cut out or take the forms so the children can fill them in. Not only does it give them writing practice, but if they don’t know their address details yet, it will also help them remember it.

5. Writing Stories

A favourite activity with my children as they have started reading with some confidence, has been to hand write first, then publish on the computer their own stories. We have two different styles that we do: a story where we print out text only and the child draws the pictures to match the story they have thought of or; inserting digital photos from an event in the child’s life and allowing them to write the text to match.

6. Minute Taking At The Family Meeting

We have regular family meetings at our house and they provide an opportunity for one child to write the minutes each time. The younger children may need help on what points they actually need to write down, but it is also a good exercise for older children for them to learn note / minute taking skills.

7. Letters To The Editor

This is something that we have yet to try, but I will do so soon with my oldest child. He is at an age now where he does have opinions on contemporary issues. It will be a great exercise for him to articulate them and write them down. He can then look forward to seeing if they actually get published.

8. Keeping A Diary

We have tried this before without much success for anything other than short bursts. So instead of standard diary format, this time I will try to get the children to keep a diary for a specific period of time only. I will choose an exciting period of time, so it will be easy for them to think of things to write. We have family visiting and staying with us soon, so this should provide us with the first opportunity to try this new approach.

9. Commentary In Photo Albums

I have a year’s worth of photos that need to be placed into albums and comments which need to be written for the photos. This task would be a great one to do together with the children (they love looking at photos) and they can help decide what we write about the photos.

10. Games

There are a number of games that require the children to write. We received Boggle late last year, which we all love to play. I particularly like that Boggle can be played in short sharp bursts, so can be done regularly without too much set up or time commitment. Other games like Hang man, crosswords etc all get the children writing.

Technorati Tags: Child Development, parenting, writing

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