Increasing Independence In Children – Taking The Train To The City
by PlanningQueen on June 18, 2009 in Child Development, PlanningThis post is part of a series of activities that can help increase your child’s independence. This activity was for my child who is 10 years old, as was the below post:
Other activities which are aimed at younger children (aged 2 – 6) can be found below:
If you have been reading the blog for a while, you may remember when Thinker turned 10 years old last year, he was then allowed to walk home from school on his own. Thinker has chosen to continue doing this everyday since (with one or two exceptions when it was pouring with rain), even though either myself or our lovely neighbour is at school at the end of the day to pick up the other kids.
Thinker and I had talked about what other things that he would like to do now that he is getting older. One of the things that we agreed on (not all were agreed on by both sides) was catching a train into the city (Melbourne) by himself.
To put this in perspective, we live about 13kms east of Melbourne CBD. We used to live inner city and catch the train frequently, but even in the burbs now, we still catch the train every couple of months and head into the city. The train station in our suburb and at the station at Flinders Street are familiar to Thinker.
So a couple of weeks ago, we organised for Thinker to:
- Walk to our local train station.
- Purchase his train ticket.
- Catch designated train to Flinders Street Station.
- Walk from Flinders Street Station to his dad’s work (other side of city).
- Meet his dad, to have dinner.
- Come home with dad.
Before he went, we made sure the following happened:
- He had a map, with directions drawn on.
- He had calculated what time train he needed to catch to meet his dad at 5pm.
- He had a mobile phone, with relevant contact numbers.
- He had coins for ticket and emergencies.
- He was confident and happy to make the trip.

Thinker was very excited about making the trip. At one point on the day of the trip Thinker came up and told me it was only 102 minutes until he had to leave! I was excited for him, but to be honest also very nervous. I know he is capable and responsible, but letting go and new “firsts” like this is always a nervous time for me.
When the time came for him to leave, I kept calm and didn’t make a huge fuss, when I really felt like hugging and squeezing him tight. He set off happily and confidently and
it was just left for me to wait now.
I had made his dad promise to ring me as soon as he made it to his work. Within about an hour from leaving, Thinker rang to tell me that he was with dad! I felt relieved and happy for him. I could hear that Thinker was incredibly proud of himself and had a great sense of achievement.
Being able to catch the train into the city to meet his dad, is a great achievement. He will now be able to do this to meet his dad and go and see football games, cricket etc. In about 18 months Thinker will be catching trains to school, in situations where they will be large groups of boys. Knowing how to travel safely and sensibly on public transport is an important skill for him to have.
I have shared this story with other parents, the majority of which have been supportive of what we have done. There have been some though, who think that he was too young to do this by himself. Mr I and I were comfortable that the timing was right for him to do this. Every child and every family is different, so this may not be an activity for every 10 year old, but it certainly was a successful one for our 10 year old.
Tags: parenting, primary school














7 comments...read them below or add one
That is wonderful! My eldest catches PT daily to school (two buses) and is diligent in doing so. I don’t have to push or rush, she’s generally out the door way earlier than necessary.
One time I had her PT into my work (from Altona to Richmond) which included a different bus, then 2 trains) and she did it. I was so proud. I kept telling her over dinner that I was proud of her and she just preened.
She’s 13, so a little older, but I think it’s good to give them a push sometimes, especially if they want that independence. it’s important they know you are supportive and behind them.
PS you’ve done well in letting him do it, and being so calm (even if it’s just the exterior!) to his face.
Raes last blog post..Stopped in their tracks
Woah – Congratulations to Thinker and to you!!! What a fantastic achievement for him, and I am so impressed at the way you handled your own emotions so you could give Thinker the opportunity to succeed.
I think you raise a great point about knowing how to travel safely and responsibly before being faced with groups of boys and the challenges that could present.
At 4 and a half, Miss F and Miss J have just started walking from the car to the door of our friends house by themselves. It sounds tiny – but they are so incredibly proud of themselves when they turn and wave me off.
They really do grow up quickly!
Alisons last blog post..Warrior Wednesday
Wow, good for him (and well done you!)
I’m just glad my kids aren’t up to that stage yet – I’m not ready to let them go.
Kins last blog post..Everything and nothing
god you are brave… i am having panic attacks thinking about one day allowing my girls to walk home from school as we live 2 streets away. it isnt them i am worried about, not even the traffic as there basically isnt any, it is the threat of predators that worry me. i know that is sad but i guess something that is very real. recently we had reports of two men approaching children in the street in a white car…
i have enjoyed reading some of your past posts, a lovely blog.
%*_*% rosey
icantsews last blog post..the week that was ~ part 1~
That is fantastic. Way to go Thinker.
I’ve only just started letting Annie (6yo) walk home from school without holding my hand. I can’t imagine her being old enough to catch the train on her own.
Part of me wonders if because she is female I will hold her back longer because of unconscious gender bias.
I know it will take me much much longer to let Heidi go but that is more related to her being on the autism spectrum.
That’s great
I’ve started letting my teen girls walk themselves down the street after school to go ‘shopping’ with friends. It’s only 15 minutes walk from home but we have some specific rules about being where they say they are going to be, being home on time, their behaviour while out on their own. I’m hoping it is setting them up when for when a bit older and boys are thrown into the mix. Eeek!
Mistress Bs last blog post..8 Reasons Why Cooking Is Great For Kids!
Thinker was very happy to read all the comments, so thank you for the kind words.