I’m planned, well organised, know what I want to achieve – but why do I often feel like I am rushing? Rushing to make it to pick up one of the kids from training or getting to a meeting only just on time or just from task to task on my to do list.
While I will talk more about it a post later this week, having one thing, one solid goal to focus on has been fantastic in so many ways. In this instance it has been making me assess why indeed am I rushing out the door to make it to the post office on time or make my exercise class.
My assessment didn’t come up with excuses or lack of time. What it came up with a key list of things I am doing wrong and that I am now working on fixing. Here they are!
Doing just one more thing
Problem:
I will be ready for my meeting. Have my notes, have my work bag packed and it is 30 minutes until I need to leave. That is so much time I think to myself, I can now hang out the washing, start dinner, write a blog post……… insert many and various activities here. I have this innate drive to complete tasks, so I will push it to the last minute possible, even going over a minute or two so I can finish whatever task it is I started before I leave.
The satisfaction of completing the task however only lasts a short time as I scramble to pick up everything I need and rush out the door to make sure I am not not late.
Solution
Once I have myself ready, if I have 30 minutes or less to spare, I am not going to start any tasks that I cannot leave unfinished. If I have 15 minutes or less I will read and not start any new tasks.
Using the best case scenario
As my navigation skills are not great, I generally leave plenty of time for travel and getting a little bit confused on the way to somewhere new. For places that I am familiar with though, I can get a bit complacent.
Problem:
When I am very focused on a particular task and I have to leave the house to go somewhere, I will keep working until I have the bare minimum of time to travel to the planned location. Often I will work off how long it may have taken me to get there a previous time. That previous time however most likely was a best case scenario. It didn’t factor in getting stuck behind a tram, having to wait at the boom gates or roadworks or the like.
Solution
Leaving it so I only have the bare minimum time adds so much extra unnecessary pressure to me and feeling of rushing. I have started building in extra time to known journeys to remove that rushed feeling. It takes me 10 minutes in the car to get to the gym, I will leave 15 minutes before instead.
Underestimating how long things will take
Problem:
For some posts that I write from my own personal experience, I can complete the post, including selecting and editing photos in about 30-45 minutes. For a post however that requires research, step by step photos or I have difficulty writing it can take me anywhere from 60-120 minutes. But too often when I write up my work plan for the day, I will take the lower estimate for how long it will take me to write the post. And it is similar for some housework tasks too. I will underestimate how long they will take me to do.
I will set myself a plan with items to do before I pick up the kids or head to a meeting and then will end up rushing because the tasks took me longer than I thought.
Solution
I have been using some online tools to help me work out exactly how long everything is taking me for work and it is proving to be super useful. I am being more realistic now, putting times that I know it will take, rather than listing the optimal amount of time the task could possibly (or I want it to) take me to do. This has meant that I have had to frequently rethink my priorities and work out what tasks I will not complete because I won’t have time. But the pay off is I then move to the next stage not feeling so rushed.
Letting myself become distracted
Problem:
I have things I have to do before I go out, for example make a salad for the BBQ we are going to head to. While searching for a fantastic recipe I know I pinned recently, I end up spending 15 minutes distracted from the task at hand online.
I will set myself a plan with items to do before I pick up the kids or head to a meeting and then will end up rushing because the tasks took me longer than I thought.
Solution
I am being realistic. Putting times that I know it will take and adding a little buffer, rather than listing the optimal amount of time the task could possibly take me to do. This has meant that I have had to rethink my priorities and work out what tasks I will not complete because I won’t have time.
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The most important thing I have learnt from working out why I get myself to rushing point, is that I actually have full control over it. Too often I have created time pressures for myself by the above or other reasons. I am now starting to put tasks and other requirements of me into a better perspective.
Not everything is urgent and most likely the world won’t fall apart if I don’t do something immediately (or ever!). I am learning to change my thinking. Not allowing myself to feel the weight of every possible task I could complete in the next year weigh me down and create that feeling that I need to rush through tasks.
Some days I am doing better at this than others, but I am getting better. And I quite often I feel relieved by re-sorting my thoughts and then priorities, realising that certain things just don’t need to happen. The relief takes away the rushing feeling wish is much more conducive to me achieving my goal for this year of being a planned, patient and present mother to my beautiful kids.
Want some help slowing down the pace of family life?
The changes I have made to the way I approach family life over the last two years has had a huge impact on my happiness and the harmony of our family life. So much of the success has been based around formation of positive habits and I teach how to do this in my e-course Planned + Present.
Planned + Present is a seven week e-course to take you from feeling our of control and overwhelmed to feeling planned and present. It is a step-by-step guide on how to organise the chaos of family life while still leaving space to enjoy it. The course will deliver to you:
- Clarity and confidence to deal with competing interests – by determining your “why” you can make navigating this minefield much easier.
- Creation of positive habits – through learning about why habits work and how you can fit them into your life permanently.
- Routines, processes and plans to organise the chaos of family life – there are templates for you to use and routines to follow, so you don’t have to start from scratch
- Restored calm to daily life – with disorganisation comes stress, tension and decreased family harmony. Move to a planned approach and see how much calmer family life becomes.
Planned and Present includes seven in-depth lessons, for you to work through. And with lifetime access to the course, it’s okay if you fall behind.
To find out more about Planned & Present and sign up for the course head here – Planned & Present.