I have written before on the blog about how I have it hard to say no when things are asked of me. I have become much better at it since I wrote that post last year.
Something which has really helped me do this, has been to reframe my decision and taking the emphasis of the no. There are times when I need to say no to others, so that I can be saying yes to my family – yes I will be available for you, yes I will free up that time to get more rest so I am not tired, yes to enjoying the moment with you. By keeping the “yes” for my family in my mind when I make this decision, while I still feel bad saying no sometimes, it does make it easier for me.
I have also come up with some go to responses for saying no as well. Finding a way to politely decline when I was put on the spot has been tricky for me. Here are some of responses I use for both blogging and personal situations:
- I love the idea but at the moment, I don’t have the time. I could do something after XXX.
- I need to think about how this fits into the plan for the blog for this year and I will get back to you.
- Thanks for thinking of me, but it isn’t just quite right for me at this time.
- I appreciate the invitation to be part of your new initiative, but I have a number of key projects on at the moment and they are taking up all my available blogging time.
- I can’t catch up this weekend sorry. The majority of the weekend is filled with sport and we are keeping that time free just for the family.
- I will need to see what the family has on first.
- I would love to catch up, but I work Monday mornings, can you make it another day? (Working from home I need to set boundaries around the precious hours I have with no kids about to get work done.)
So saying “no” is a work in progress for me, but I have definitely found reframing the decision making a useful way to approach it.
Personal Goals – April Review
|Key Tasks For April||Review April Activity|
|1. - Blog||Implement new design once the set up on the hosting provider.||Still a few outstanding little things to do, but the new design is here!|
|2. - Family||Make sure there is plenty of time for play when we go away for the school holidays.||We had such a lovely time away and the slower pace of the country meant we did loads of play. My sisters house is so well set up for it too - pool, fort, trampoline, air hockey table, pool table!|
|3. - Partner||Lock down a date for when we will do this and explore options for the kids. (Again!)||Mr I is back playing local footy this year which means time away will not happen until late September - better late than never!|
|4. - Me||Find new lunch ideas that do not involve bread! (Again!)||I had some great suggestions from readers - light wraps (thanks Sarah), left over meat and salad (thanks Belinda), tuna salad (thanks Lisa) and others that I am yet to try.
I think I will start making up batches of soup and freezing it too, now the weather is colder.
Personal Goals – Key Task For May
|Goals for 2012||Key Tasks For May|
|1. - Blog||Complete make over of blog.||Fix outstanding issues with design and update the blog menu planner.|
|2. - Family||Reintroduce a regular games night. (I am going to tweak this goal slightly. We have been able to really enjoy time as a whole family, being active and outdoors. With the ages of the kids and their energy, this has worked much better than a more sedentary activity like an indoor games night like I had wanted to try.) ||We have found a lovely park to take our dog Lucas to where he can run off the lead and play with other dogs. The kids adore it and I want to make sure we get there at least once a week.|
|3. - Partner||Weekend away on our own. (carry over from 2011!) (Tweaking this slightly too, to include doing more things together. Often due to kids activities etc we split up on the weekends, Mr I with the older kids and me with the younger ones. I want to find ways where we can decrease this.)||Get along to see Mr I play at least once this month.|
|4. - Me||Change the way I eat - more balanced (less carbs).||Try two new low carb evening meal recipes.|
How do you find saying no to others? What tips could you share for doing it politely?