Do You Bail Out Your Children?


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I subscribe to a number of parent newsletters and one which I always find thought provoking is Response-Able Parent. It is put together by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller.

In their most recent newsletter they contemplate the actions of Governments around the world bailing out banks and financial institutions as they falter in this financial crisis. Without judging the merit of these decisions, they do put forward a decisive argument as to why parents should not allow themselves to fall into the habit of bailing out their children.

They list seven common examples where parents are likely to bail out their children, from simple events like forgetting their lunch for school to more serious issues like running up large mobile phone bills.

I have found myself doing this at times. When I wrote my 10 Homework Tips For Parents, the first point was that homework is the child’s responsibility. I had wrongly taken on that responsibility for some time and I had to change this situation.

As a parent, it is a natural reaction to want to help and protect and guide our children, but sometimes by taking this too far, we can be doing them a disservice. Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller sum this up beautifully:

Resist the urge to bail out your children regardless of what you see modeled in our culture or government. When you regularly hold your children accountable (with an open heart), they will learn to see themselves as the cause of the results they produce. As you help them experience the direct relationship between cause and effect, they will become more empowered and view themselves as both capable and responsible. We could use more of that attitude today in our government, in our businesses, and in our world.

To subscribe to their newsletters visit Personal Power Press.

Have you found yourself bailing out your children?

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Comments

  1. says

    I confess – I do it!
    I can’t bear the thought of them going hungry (which is silly, because they are not scrawny). Two weeks ago I found myself driving home to collect my daughter’s saxaphone, because she had forgotten it – and I didn’t want to have to pay for a wasted music lesson. But it took an extra hour out of my workday, and 70 kms of travel, so it wasn’t very good economics.