10 Guiding Principles For A Happy Family

When trying to reorganise files from back ups onto my new computer, I came across a document that I created a number of years ago which outlines some guiding principles that I had collated. These were principles that I felt should make family life happier and contain less conflict.

It is funny how the timing of things work and I think that I really needed to read this again. I may have veered slightly to the left or right of some of these principles! The important thing also is that although I created this, they are not just for me, they are for a guide for all family members. The relevance to each family member will differ according to their age, but they still need to be incorporated into their behaviour.

    (1). Listen attentively to others.
    (2). Look for the solution, not the culprit.
    (3). Patience - role model the behaviour I want to see.
    (4). Be kind to me and consider my own needs.
    (5). There are no ‘have tos’ or ‘should’ – I have a choice.
    (6). It is ok to say “No”.
    (7). There is no need to make comparisons.
    (8). Make time for play.
    (9). Give the children (ans adults!) some space and independence.
    (10). 5:1 ratio of positive to negative comments.

I have also made this into a one page slide in Power Point which I have printed out and stuck on my fridge. I want to have it somewhere highly visible, to remind me and the rest of the family how important it is that we use these guiding principles to help create a happier family.

10 Guiding Principles For A Happy Family

What is a guiding principle that you like your family to live by?

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Menu Plan Monday - Quick And Simple


(Photo Source: flickr - jslander)

When I planned the menu for the family this week, I had to do son with a different cook in mind. Mr Infrastructure and I are doing something of a role swap this week. The aim of this for me to do some long term planning, complete the preseason for the 30 Day Challenge and work on documenting all my recipes.

Monday: Pumpkin Soup

Baking: White Chocolate Chip Cookies
(I will still do the baking - I think I can only push it so far!)

Tuesday: Chicken Stir Fry With Seasonal Vegetables

Wednesday: Baked Penne With Bacon

Thursday: Tacos

Friday: Roast Chicken and Vegetables
(The chicken will be bought cooked, but the veggies cooked at home.)

Saturday: Picklebums Easy Beef and Vegie Triangles
(Using left over meat from the tacos.)

Sunday: Pasta with Chicken and Spinach

Again, I have included the shopping list for this week’s menu plan as an excel file. The below paragraphs explain what is in the attached excel file below.

Shopping List For Family Menu Plan 080721

It contains three separate spreadsheets. The first is named “Complete Grocery’ and it lists by supermarket aisle all the ingredients that are needed to cook the family meals for this week.

The second spreadsheet is named “Ingredient By Meal’ and it lists the ingredients that are required for the family by each individual meal this week. I have also left on the aisle and aisle subsection in this spreadsheet for reference, but if you want to print that out you will need to alter the print area.

The third spreadsheet is named “Menu Plan” and is a modified version of the menu plan that I print and place on the fridge. I have a notes section, that I like to populate with any activities that are likely to impact the evening meal routine.

Want to see what we are having next week? Subscribe to my free email updates via the “subscribe page” or from the RSS Feed icon at the top of the page.

For more menu planning ideas head on over to Laura’s place at “I’m an Organizing Junkie“.

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6 Things Meme

Earlier in July Guera at A Roaming Aussie Mum tagged me for the 6 Things Meme. The Roaming Aussie Mum is now back home, and her new blog design is amazing so you really should stop by and check it out. My Team Leader in the 30 Day Challenge, Lightening also tagged me and other member of the team, which was a great idea by Lightening. I will now be able to find out more about my fellow team mates!

This is challenging meme for me as I tend not to go too far into my personal life on the blog, but I thought I would give answering the questions ago. Let me know what you think!

6 places I have lived
My list is very dull compared to the well traveled Roaming Aussie Mum, and involves sometimes moving only one suburb away!
(1). Mildura - Country Victoria until I was 17 years old.
(2). Surrey Hills - Eastern suburb of Melbourne. My first share accommodation was a bit of a disaster, but I lived to tell the tale.
(3). Epping - Far north eastern suburb of Melbourne. With no part time job for a short time and still a year left at Uni, some fantastic relatives of mine, let me stay for nominal board. Did mean over 1.5hrs of public transport to uni though.
(4). Richmond - My first taste of inner city living, pretty much underneath the tracks leading into Richmond train station.
(5). Abbotsford - On suburb away from Richmond and across the road from Victoria Park (the old home ground to Collingwood Football Club).
(6). Richmond - Moved back to a suburb I loved, where we bought our first home.
(7). Surrey Hills - Moved to the burbs, to have more children. I have ended back in the first suburb that I lived in when I came to Melbourne - how scary is that!

What I was doing 10 years ago?
I was half way through my first pregnancy. I had started a new position with the large telco company that I worked for in January, so that I could obtain some people management skills. I was managing a Directory Assistance call centre (about 50 people) in Dromana. I really loved this job, but I didn’t necessarily love the 1hr and 15 min drive each way. My green conscience wouldn’t let me do that know!

5 things on my to-do list today
1. Set up Time Machine (back up facility) on my new MacBook.
2. Watch my oldest son’s football match - for so many different reasons, I haven’t made it to one game yet this season.
3. Prepare my handover list for Mr Infrastructure (we are swapping roles for a bit next week - how fun!!!!).
4. Long Term Goal Paper
5. Update Calendar with new dates.

Snacks I like to eat
1. Chocolate - as bad as this sounds, I would have a little bit every day!
2. Cut up apple, preferably Pink Lady.
3. Vegemite or Peanut butter sandwiches.
4. Nuts - pistachios, almonds or cashews

If I was a billionaire
1. Give to our family members what they need.
2. Build the completely sustainable home. I actually dream about this one frequently!
3. Travel with the kids. I would love the children to have the experience of visiting other cultures.
4. Resources for refugee children in Australia - a cause I feel passionately about.

I think tradition would have that I tag 6 bloggers now, but I have been tagging a bit lately so I have just chosen three dear friends to tag:

mobble gobble
ickle kids

Hungry Tribe

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Winter Mosiac

1. Vinterdag Vestmarka, 2. Dogwood Winter, 3. Canal skaters, 4. Brrrrr !, 5. They call it “sockeyling”, 6. Hanging on, 7. Snow Berries, 8. Snow Blasted Tree, 9. Urørt, 10. Going Nowhere for Awhile, 11. Frost on a pine needle, 12. Berries, Fosston, Minn

Creative Kate at Picklebums features Flickr Friday each week.

Each week Kate posts a new theme for which to search for images on Flickr. I have copied Kate’s advice on using images from Flickr which are ok to be shared:

“I use compfight to search for my flickr images - select the ‘commercial’ option and you will get only photos that are ok to be shared. Then I use bighugelabs.com to make my mosaic (gives me a handy pre-made list so that I can make sure to credit where the photos came from) and then I upload it to my flickr account”

I have been aiming to join in for a while, but Kate’s winter theme this week finally got me going. Like Kate I am not a fan of winter and find it a bit hard to deal with. I thought if I looked at some pretty pictures of winter, it might convince me other wise. At least it was worth a try!

Head on over to Kate’s and see some other gorgeous mosiacs.

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Children’s Timetable Term 3, 2008

New term and new timetable. There were just a few minor changes that I needed to make to the Children’s Timetable from Term 2.

I have been creating these timetables for a couple of years now and find them to be very helpful in assisting the children to organise themselves and their belongings for the school day.

I photocopy the document onto A3 sized paper and place it on the wall where it is easy for all children to see.

As with the last timetable, the font I have used in the table, is called Victorian Modern Cursive. This is the style of handwriting taught in primary schools through out Victoria. This may not show up on correctly your computer, but you can download it freely from the Victorian Govt Education website. I like to use this font for the preschoolers and younger school age children, as it helps them become familiar with the way the will need to write the alphabet.

2008 Term 3 Children’s Timetable.

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Getting Hands On


(Photo uploaded to Flickr by HVargas)

When planning activities for the younger children, I endeavour to have a variety of activities and some which are construction based. This usually takes form in the Useful Box and we also have a set of smaller real tools that the children can use to practice hammering etc.

It wasn’t until I came across this Reuters article titled “Kids should work with hands for brains’ sake” that I realised, I really don’t have any like activities for the older two children. They will create occasionally with this stuff, but I think have reached a point where they find it a bit babyish.

I think because on the whole they occupy themselves quite well with various activities, I haven’t sought an age appropriate replacement for this activity. But I am thinking now that I should seek out more challenging alternatives for the two older boys that involve working with their hands:

“Working with one’s own hands in a real-world 3-D environment is imperative for full cognitive and intellectual development,”

This statement was from Dr. Aric Sigman, the author of a report commissioned by the Ruskin Mill Educational Trust. It was a UK based report, but I imagine the findings would not be too different in Australia and that we too have become a:

“software instead of a screwdriver society”

Now I am not anti computer by any means, (I certainly spend enough time on one my self :) ). But I think, like all things, moderation and variety is needed. As such we do have strict limitations on the amount of time that the children can use the computer. The spend a lot of time playing football, chess, reading, Lego and playing board games.

Out of these activities only Lego is really hands on based work. So I have a had quick search around and come across some sites which have some great activities that the children could try:

Web Weather For Kids - Science Activities
Zoom Sci - Engineering Design It
Construction Challenge Activity

I have mentioned before that I would like Mr Infrastructre to put together a fort/climbing frame arrangement in the backyard. I now have ideas growing about a group project for Mr I and the children (he just doesn’t know about it yet!).

How do you get your older children into hands on activities?

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Christmas Planning In July - Presents

I have traditionally not been one of those organised people who buy up presents at the sales in June or July, but have tended to leave my shopping until November or December. Although I haven’t bought anything at this year’s sales either, I am going to try something a bit different this year and buy more in the lead up than I have done in the past.

I am also working with a very dear friend (and very crafty, check out her site mobble gobble) and we have started making some of our homemade Christmas Gifts. This also is a big change from the usual state of affairs, which sees me working into the wee hours of the morning for a few nights running to get them made before the school term ends in December.

One thing that I have done for a number of years that I have found incredibly helpful in my Christmas Present buying, has been to track all my purchases in an excel spreadsheet. The benefits of this are as follows:

    - I can see how I am tracking to budget.
    - Eliminates me forgetting anyone.
    - Reminds me of what I bought in recent years, so that I don’t purchase a too similar gift.
    - Is a central place where I can note gift ideas for particular people before I forget them.
    - Contains ideas for presents for the children. Relatives often ask me what they would like, and on the spot, I can often not think of things that would interest them most.

Here is a modified version of my spreadsheet: Christmas Presents Excel Tracking Spreadsheet.

I modified the names, some of the actual gifts and the amounts, so as not to give away too much to family and friends! I also realised when I was doing these modifications, that there was a few omissions from the sheet. I have added new names for 2008, people that I have previously given gifts, but somehow have not recorded them. (Means that I was even more over budget!)

Do you buy your Christmas Presents early or are you a last minute shopper?

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10 Tips For Organised School Mornings

The children headed back to school and preschool today after two weeks of holidays. We thoroughly enjoyed rising at any time (me with the first child of the day, which was at least 45 minutes later than usual :) ), but it did mean that it was an effort being organised and out of the house on time today.

To improve on todays, efforts I went back to a previous post of mine about school morning organisaton to give myself a bit of a refresher and thought I would share it with you!

(1). Set bedtime.
Having an age appropriate bed time for the kids, means they get the sleep they need to actually wake up of their on accord and are refreshed for school. They wake up happier and are easier to manage.

(2). Table set for breakfast.
We have the table set for breakfast, including the cereal boxes on the table before we go to bed at night. Dad is usually the first to have breakfast and will put the juice and milk on the table. As the children wake at different times, this enables them to easily serve themselves.

(3). Lunch box preparation.
I have the lunch boxes set out on the bench and will put in any items that are non perishable in the night before. For example, I will put crackers in resealable plastic bags in to the boxes, but fruit like watermelon that I cut up and salad sandwiches I will do in the morning.

(4). Clothes preparation.
I don’t lay the clothes out for the children, but do ensure that they are in the right spots for the children to access them themselves. The exception to this is Possum who I have choose her clothes the night before, as we can have a discussion about the appropriateness of the outfit calmly when we are not under time pressures (see Removing The Battle Lines for further information).

(5). Key time markers.
We have key times across the morning at which certain activities need to occur. At (or before) 7.30am children need to brush their teeth, get themselves dressed, pack bags etc. We aim to leave the house at 8.05am, so everyone should be completely ready by then.

We left a bit after 8.10am today and had been doing so for the last week or so of last term. Although this does not mean the children are late, it does give less margin for stops on the walk due to shoe laces undone, falls of scooters and the toddler wanting to walk. It is less stressful to leave that bit earlier, so I need to get myself a bit more organised tomorrow so this can happen.

(6). Children take away their breakfast dishes from table.
Each child is responsible (except for the toddler just yet) for taking their dishes from the table tot he kitchen bench. The remaining items are then cleared dishwasher stacked by the older two children.

This is then one less thing that I have to do and therefore I am not as rushed. It also helps them understand that we all have to work together to keep the house tidy. This task and the next two require the children doing things for themselves. I find it is much easier for them to concentrate on these, if their are no distractions like TV or computer to deal with.

(7). Children make beds and tidy their room.
As per above. Also since we have been doing this, I have found that the room stays tidier in the first place, as they don’t enjoy spending large amounts of time doing this task.

(8). Children pack their bags.
This goes for the oldest three. It is their responsibility to ensure they have their lunchbox, hat etc, all the things that they need for their day at school. I find this helpful in training them to keep their possessions organised. If they have left their hat at home because they left it in the bedroom, instead of putting it back in their bag, they will have to accept the consequences of this. (At our school, no hat means that they cannot play out in the sun during terms 1 and 4.)

(9). Walk to school.
This is not possible for everyone, but I find that this is less stressful than packing all the children in the car, finding a park, getting them out etc. It also provides a lovely opportunity to chat and play games as we walk along.

(10). Keep Calm.
This is probably the hardest one of these to do sometimes, but even when they are infuriating me, I find if I try to calmly deal with the situation, (as opposed to ranting and raving at them!) that it has much less chance of escalating or snowballing into more issues.

This morning we left the house with dishes on the table and unmade beds. I am hoping we will leave the house in a different state tomorrow!

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Menu Plan Monday - Better Late Than Never!

From Wednesday of last week, we were lucky enough to have two young pilgrims stay with us on their way to World Youth Day in Sydney. They were from Cannon Falls, Minnesota and the whole family immensely enjoyed their stay with us.

Meal planning was nowhere to be seen on the weekend, so I have cheated and just copied one from May. I deliberately chose one which was easy for me to cook and that included many of the kids favourites. This should hopefully make meal times easier during their first week back to school after their two week break.

This is what we are having this week:

Monday: Sausage and Veg

Baking: Rice Bubble Treat

Tuesday: Pasta with Chicken and Spinach

Wednesday: Kin’s Apricot Chicken

Thursday: Beef Stir Fry

Friday: Fried Rice

Saturday: Left Overs

Sunday: Beef Stroganoff

Again, I have included the shopping list for this week’s menu plan as an excel file. The below paragraphs explain what is in the attached excel file below.

Menu Plan and Shopping List 080714

It contains three separate spreadsheets. The first is named “Complete Grocery’ and it lists by supermarket aisle all the ingredients that are needed to cook the family meals for this week.

The second spreadsheet is named “Ingredient By Meal’ and it lists the ingredients that are required for the family by each individual meal this week. I have also left on the aisle and aisle subsection in this spreadsheet for reference, but if you want to print that out you will need to alter the print area.

The third spreadsheet is named “Menu Plan” and is a modified version of the menu plan that I print and place on the fridge. I have a notes section, that I like to populate with any activities that are likely to impact the evening meal routine.

Want to see what we are having next week? Subscribe to my free email updates via the “subscribe page” or from the RSS Feed icon at the top of the page.

For more menu planning ideas head on over to Laura’s place at “I’m an Organizing Junkie“.

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Baby Smiles Addictive

I love it when research proves something as a mother you have always known:

“These are areas that have been activated in other experiments associated with drug addiction [so] it may be that seeing your own baby’s face is like a ‘natural high,”

This was in findings, which were published in the Journal of Pediatrics. Other that this being a nice fact to know, scientists believe that it could help explain the special mother-infant bond, and how it sometimes goes wrong.

Kate Benson quotes Lane Strathearn, who is an associate professor of pediatrics at the Texas Children’s Hospital in Houston in her article Baby Smiles Addictive in The Age Online.

Lane Strathearn studied brain scans and:

“of 28 new mothers taken as they looked at photographs of their own happy babies and found that parts of the brain, such as the substantia nigra, the striatum and the frontal lobe - which are involved in processing emotion, cognition and behaviour - all lit up.”

I can remember spending so much time just watching the response of my babies to my face and smile and adoring their smile in response. Unfortunately for many reasons this may not always be the way it is for some new mothers.

“The relationship between mothers and infants is critical for child development, but for whatever reason, in some cases, that relationship doesn’t develop normally. Neglect and abuse can result, with devastating effects on a child’s development,” (Lane Strathearn)

It would be fantastic if this research can help reduce the instances of child abuse and neglect.

Can you remember when your baby first smiled?

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AUTHOR

Welcome to Planning With Kids! My name is Nicole (aka Planning Queen) and I am the mother to four (will be five in January 09) beautiful children.

This blog details my attempts to make life simple and fun for my family, through a little bit of planning! Find Out More....

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