When trying to reorganise files from back ups onto my new computer, I came across a document that I created a number of years ago which outlines some guiding principles that I had collated. These were principles that I felt should make family life happier and contain less conflict.
It is funny how the timing of things work and I think that I really needed to read this again. I may have veered slightly to the left or right of some of these principles! The important thing also is that although I created this, they are not just for me, they are for a guide for all family members. The relevance to each family member will differ according to their age, but they still need to be incorporated into their behaviour.
- Listen attentively to others.
- Look for the solution, not the culprit.
- Patience – role model the behaviour I want to see.
- Be kind to me and consider my own needs.
- There are no “have tos” or “should“ I have a choice.
- It is ok to say no.
- There is no need to make comparisons.
- Make time for play.
- Give the children (and adults!) some space and independence.
- 5:1 ratio of positive to negative comments.
I have also made this into a one page slide in Power Point which I have printed out and stuck on my fridge. I want to have it somewhere highly visible, to remind me and the rest of the family how important it is that we use these guiding principles to help create a happier family.
10 Guiding Principles For A Happy Family
You can also download a blank template to make your own as well here:
Guiding Principles
What is a guiding principle that you like your family to live by? Tweet
4 comments...read them below or add one
I really like your guiding principles. I should have heeded #2 (Look for the solution, not the culprit) yesterday when I found a large section of the foam backing from the hall runner ripped into tiny pieces!
One of the principles in our family is that children and adults are equally courteous to each other and all must remember to say “please” and “thank you”. (e.g. Please stop ripping the hall runner). I might also need to remind myself about the 5:1 comment ratio too!
Hoppo Bumpos last blog post..Close encounters
A brilliant list to live life by.
We are back online FINALLY after three weeks from hell. During that time my grand daughter was born prematurely too.
Thanks so much for your positive thoughts and well wishes following our crisis.
I smiled when I saw your post (great rules btw – I have to re-balance my 5:1!). In one of our family meetings a couple of weeks ago, we decided that we needed some new family rules. To try and encourage everyone to honour them, we thought that each member of the family could come up with a couple of rules.
My 5 year old’s first rule:
“don’t sit on people’s faces and fart on them!”
I thought great… we’re in for a long meeting! But luckily, he smiled and said “just kidding”. Phew! Then he came up with …
“we all have to use our nice voices rather than our shouting voices”.
It was uphill after that!
Your blog is therefore informative … maintain the work!!!!