When trying to reorganise files from back ups onto my new computer, I came across a document that I created a number of years ago which outlines some guiding principles that I had collated. These were principles that I felt should make family life happier and contain less conflict.
It is funny how the timing of things work and I think that I really needed to read this again. I may have veered slightly to the left or right of some of these principles! The important thing also is that although I created this, they are not just for me, they are for a guide for all family members. The relevance to each family member will differ according to their age, but they still need to be incorporated into their behaviour.
- Listen attentively to others.
- Look for the solution, not the culprit.
- Patience – role model the behaviour I want to see.
- Be kind to me and consider my own needs.
- There are no “have tos” or “should“ I have a choice.
- It is ok to say no.
- There is no need to make comparisons.
- Make time for play.
- Give the children (and adults!) some space and independence.
- 5:1 ratio of positive to negative comments.
I have also made this into a one page slide in Power Point which I have printed out and stuck on my fridge. I want to have it somewhere highly visible, to remind me and the rest of the family how important it is that we use these guiding principles to help create a happier family.
You can also download a blank template to make your own as well here:
What is a guiding principle that you like your family to live by? TweetTags: parenting