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I have seen the best seller “The Dangerous Book for Boys” in the book shops and must admit that I haven’t really taken much notice of it. It was with surprise that I read that there was also two like books on sale for girls. Peggy Orenstein writes about these books in “Girls Will Be girls” which was published in the New York Times on Feb 10 this year.

The above mentioned books are are two advice manuals aimed at girls, “The Dangerous Book for Girls” and “The Girls’ Book: How to be the Best at Everything.” and Orenstein in her article comments that both books encourage

“for girls to have it both ways: to be able to paint their nails and break them too;”.

She then follows this with:

For decades now, girls have been told that “you can do anything.” “How to Be the Best at Everything,” originally published in England, might as well add “. . in heels and lipstick.”

Now I have not read either of these books, but found that Prenstein’s critique of them drew me back to the core issue of women “having it all”.

In July 2002, a leading Australian journalist, Virginia Haussegger wrote an opinion piece in the Melbourne broadsheet, The Age titled “The sins of our feminist mothers.” Haussegger in her piece wrote about her pain of having a career and then trying late in life to have a baby and being unable to do. She expressed her anger at believing in what she felt was the myth of “having it all” as sold to her by her “feminist mothers.”

At this stage of my life, I had two children and was still getting the paper delivered daily and I eagerly watched the fall out of this article. I couldn’t wait to get the paper in the morning and head to the opinion section and see what was being said next. This was a very public forum on the issue that Orenstein is also tackling in her article in the New York Times.

The Virginia Haussegger opinion piece had tapped in to a very raw nerve amongst Australian women and it moved from just the opinion pages of the paper. “Meet Virginia, the women many love to loathe.” was one headline that came from this discussion.

For me I read this with interest and it made me think about what I had thought was possible prior to actually having children. Having my first child at 26, I had thoughts of wanting to “have it all” and I went into motherhood with a large dose of naivety. I was going to take 3 months off from my responsible job and head back to work. What was I thinking???? I did go back after 9 months, with a view to do my time and get home full time again as soon as I could. Having children is such a personal thing, that I don’t think you can ever really prepare yourself for how you may feel. I surprised myself with the ease and how happy I was to abandon my career.

But in reading the responses of the “they said “, “she said” fall out from Haussegger opinion piece, I did not think much about the future predicament of upcoming young women, I had only two sons at the time and it didn’t really enter my thoughts. Reading the piece form Orenstein in the New York Times has made me re-think this issue with a different focus. What will I tell my daughter? Will I tell her that she can have it all?

But what is having it all? I spent some time with a very smart and articulate woman yesterday, who suggested to me that the “all” is likely to be very different for each woman. What makes her “all” is operating her own successful business in a way that allows her still to have time to enjoy her beautiful children. My “all” for some years has been about being immersed in home life, but my “all” is now changing as my family grows up.

I am not sure what I will say to my daughter yet, when it comes time to talk to her about the choices she can make. I am glad though, that there have been many brave women before me that have made it possible that she does have a choice, regardless of how difficult the decisions might be to make.

I also wonder in the end if it will be my actions, not my words that will tell my daughter the most. I have chosen to be out of the paid workforce for last seven years now (but who knows where I will be in another seven!). As Possum is only four, I at least have time to plan what I will say to her on these issues.

Is this an issue that you have had to start dealing with yet? I would love to hear how you approached it.

NB. If you had trouble accessing the New York Times article, you may need to register (free and very quick) to see it properly.

Technorati Tags: feminism, mother

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Before I go shopping, I like to write down what the requirements for each child are. There is so much choice available, that I can get overwhelmed when I am in the stores and buy things that they don’t actually need, just because I love it!! Taking the time to do some planning for this kids clothes shopping, also means I am far more likely to stick to our clothes budget.

For example to complete her wardrobe for the upcoming winter Possum, only needs a few things, as we still have a stash of great hand me downs from generous friends. They include some beautiful dresses and skirts which I am hoping she will eventually want to wear. There is also some clothes which still fit her from last year, so I only need to get:

- 4 basic long sleeve t-shirts (black, white, pink, ?)
- 2 pairs of basic jeans (denim, light and dark)
- 1 warm hoodie (pink at her request)
- 1 warm jumper (any colour but pink!)
- 3 pairs of warm tights (black, blue, pink)

To update Babagansouski’s wardrobe he needs a only a couple of things as well. He has majority hand me downs from his older brothers, but not everything is fit for wearing so he will need:
- 5 pairs of socks (there has been a disappearing act with the warm long socks I think)
- 2 long sleeve t-shirts (grey, blue)
- 2 warm jumpers (grey, blue)
- 2 pairs of jeans/long pants - his brothers were pretty rough on their clothes (light and dark denim)

You can see in the above lists, I have even detailed the colours of each item. The reason for this is that I have in the past, purchased items because I have found them aesthetically pleasing, but they match with nothing when I get them home.

I have not made an audit the older boys yet, but will do that next week and see what they require. I find it easier to split the shopping into two expeditions. If I have children with me (and I do like the kids to have a say in what they get), to have to look across four different clothing sections gets me a bit scattered, so by reducing the scope of the expedition I find I am more effective and efficient with the purchases.

SWEAT FREE
I do like to buy sweatshop free clothes were possible, but it is much harder to find the things that I want in a price range I can afford for all of their clothes. Here are a couple of places around Melbourne that you can purchase sweat free:

Qualitops - 466 Smith Street, Collingwood. Victoria. tel:03 9417 7288
They manufacturers 100% Australian made garments. and are accredited to use the “No Sweat Shop Label”. They have a plain line of the basics. I actually went there to get a hoodie for Possum, but they won’t be in until April. They did have a great slim fit women’s hoodie for $40, but I had to stick to planned shopping and will go back another time to check one out for me.

Friends of the Earth - 312 Smith Street Collingwood. Victoria. tel: 03 9419 8700
The long sleeve t-shirt and t-shirt in the photo are for Babagansouski and they came from FOE. They have a small range for children aged 0 -2, all of which is sweatshop free. They also stock a No Sweat Sneaker (looks like Converse low cuts) for $60 and start from a boys size 1 through to mens and womens. It would be advisable to call ahead if you are interested in the sneakers, to see if they your size in stock.

Hunter Gatherer - 274 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy. Victoria. tel: 03 9415 7371
This a shop of the Brotherhood of St Lawrence. The stores are social enterprises selling recycled vintage clothing and new, No Sweatshop accredited, clothing. They have children’s wear under their own brand which includes long sleeve t-shirts and dresses for children aged 0 - 3. They also have amazing vintage clothing for adults and a small section for children which is always worth a look.

Oli B Designs (online).
They stock a range of Australian made, unique clothes for children aged 0 -5. They have those gorgeous chenille pants, dresses etc, made from recycled bedspreads.

If you know of any others sweat free retailers, I would love to hear about them!

CRAFTILY INSPIRED
Lots of these clothes would be sweat shop free as well, as they are mostly hand made.

Meet Me at Mikes 63 Brunswick St, Fitzroy. Victoria. tel: 03 9416 3713
It is just a world of crafty goodness in that shop. The above link is to there online store, but if you get a chance, go to their Fitzroy store and have some fun checking everything out. They also have a blog which can keep you abreast of their very interesting goings on.

ONLINE
The good thing about planning the winter wardrobe now, is that I have the time to look online and wait for the goods to come as winter is not yet upon us. Here is just a small selection of great crafty based clothing sites that are out there selling unique and well made kids clothing:

SallyJane Designs
Made by a Melbourne mum, there are great long sleeve t-shirts with a block of vintage inspired fabrics from Australia and the United States, sewn neatly on the front. Babagansouski has a couple that he is almost too big for, but I am squeezing him into as I love the Cowboy and Indians and the Old Aeroplanes fabrics!! (I am ordering him some new ones.)

Chew Chew’s Closet
One-of-a-kind custom creations, ranging from classic vintage to modern designs.

Ree Bee
For ages 0 - 6, clothes which are designed to be wearable, durable, original and affordable.

Conscious Clothing
“Specializing in hemp, organic, wool, soy, bamboo, and recycled fibers for men, women, and children. The less impact on the earth, the more fashionable on you!”

Tin Tank Clothing
Hoodies and t-shirts for the boys.

The last few sites area all from Etsy, which is the “go to place for all things handmade”. Note that the prices are in $US.

As I stated at the top of this post, I don’t buy all the kids clothes from these places (but wish I could!!!). I do buy some of the basics from a large chain store, which I think has pretty much all their clothes made in China. Planning though, has allowed me to become much better in my shopping habits, taking a less in quantity, but more in quality approach to the kids clothes. I will keep working at this!

Technorati Tags: children, clothes, shopping

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I do like to read on parenting issues. Usually I head to a book when I know that there is new stage of development on the horizon. This is my way of planning how I can then best deal with this impending stage.

One of the beautiful things about children is that they are all unique and as a parent I try to take that into account when I am managing their behaviour. In some instances, I have very different ways of dealing with Thinker and Little Rascal as they have quite different personalities. Reading books like those listed below have helped me build up my skills as a parent and adapt my strategies appropriately.

I haven’t read a new parenting book for a while, so I would love it, if you have a book you have found useful, if you could write about it in the comments and let me know about it.

1. The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth by Sheila Kitzinger
My first foray into the world of childhood. An empowering book for pregnant women.

2. Baby Love by Robin Barker
The Australian Bible of Baby Care. I loved the honest writing style of Robin and that there was not just one answer to baby issues. In most cases for each area of baby development there were a number of alternatives to try.

3. Baby and Toddler Meals by Robin Barker
Very practical and realistic advice on food issues from the introduction to solids up to toddlers. There are fantastic, healthy recipes for all stages.

4. Raising Boys by Steven Biddulph
I came from a family of 4 girls. Baby and little boys were a very new thing for me. I still go back and refer to this book, as my boys hit new developmental stages of their lives.

5. The Secret of Happy Children by Steve Biddulph
A thoughtful and instructive book on parenting children. Reminds you to focus on what you do and say to your child as it greatly impacts on their current and future happiness.

6. Children are People too by Louise Porter
I have referenced this book a couple of times on the blog and I would have to say that this book really changed the way I parent. I can remember reading the first half of the book and thinking “I am doing all the things she says not too - oh no I am crap parent!!!!” But then reading through the book she takes you through very simple, caring strategies on how to manage children’s behaviour.

7. The Hurried Child by David Elkind
I don’t own this book, as I borrowed it from the library but I think I really need to buy it, because I feel like I need to read it again. Although originally written 20 years ago, (it has been revised 3 times) it reminds me that children need time to rest and time to just be.

8. What’s the hurry? by Kathy Walker
I have also referenced Kathy Walker quite a bit on my blog and I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is wondering when their child might be ready for school.

9. The Challenging Child by Stanley Greenspan
A very detailed book on the five basic personality types that most children fall into and stem from inborn physical characteristics. Has lots of practical ideas on how to work with each type of child.

10. Playground Politics by Stanley Greenspan
A great resource that details the emotional challenges that kids have to face on the playground and what we as parents can do to help.

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Last week I mentioned that I was making a risotto, pretty much just so that I could make the risotto balls with the left overs. Well things didn’t go according to my plan. I did cook the risotto and it was great (so great that I have actually attached the recipe below), but when I went fossicking through the fridge to find the left overs the next day, they had disappeared.

I was pretty sure that I knew what had happened to them, but I rang Mr Infrastructure at work just to confirm that it was true. “Yeah, I brought it in to work for lunch, it tasted fantastic.” Planning can only get you so far sometimes!!!! To be fair, he usually gets free reign with the leftovers for lunches and I had forgot to mention to him, not to take the risotto. Perhaps he should read my blog!

Here is this week’s plan:

Monday: Honey Soy Stir Fry (Lucky enough to be the recipient of a pre cut fresh vegies and noodles, left over from the school fair - just need to add the chicken and sauce. A big thank you to MC for dropping them into to me yesterday.)
Baking: Carrot Cake - recipe attached below (using pre grated carrot also from MC!)

Tuesday: Baked Tomato and Ham Shell Pasta

Wednesday: Left Overs

Thursday: Lamb Chops and Green Salad

Friday: Tuna Rice

Saturday: Chicken Schnitzel and Salad

Sunday: Tacos

For more meal planning inspiration head over to I’m an Organizing Junkie.

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I have mentioned before that we limit the amount of television/computer time that our kids have. During the week days in school terms, I am also more selective about what it is that the children watch on the TV.

There are lots of programs that although they are rated G or PG, that I do not like the kids to watch. My reasons for not liking them vary from the messages they send to kids about body type, too much violence, the vocabulary used in the programs (e.g. doh, stupid, hate) or the associated advertising that comes along with that particular programme.

As a consequence, most of the programs that the kids end up watching during the week are on the channel of our national ad free broadcaster ABC TV. I record the programs in the morning and then the children watch them later in the day , at their scheduled TV time. On the week end they have a lot more freedom to choose what they would like to watch with their allocated time.

We agreed to this format in our family meeting and the flexible week end viewing was my concession to ensure that the kids needs were accounted for in our solution to the problem of “what we watch on TV”. Although not perfect, this solution allows me to minimise what I see as the most negative influences of TV, but the kids still feel that they have some exposure to “what every one at school watches”.

One of the great things about the shows that the kids watch during the week, is that most have an associated website that have learning activities related to the shows, or ideas for what parents can do to further explore issues that come up in the programs. I have listed below some of the programs on the ABC that we watch. Check them out and let me know if there are any quality kids TV programs that you watch, that we could tune into.

PRESCHOOLER PROGRAMS
Playschool
Playschool is a wonderful Australian children’s show that I too watched growing up. The above link will take you to the schedule for the show and it set outs what the theme for each week is. For example, this upcoming week’s theme on the morning edition is bags. The program notes takes you through the songs, stories, activities that they will be doing on each show and gives you instructions of activities that you can do and make with the kids.

The play part of the Playschool website, has games that provide an easy introduction to the computer for preschoolers. The Colour Game helps the preschooler learn mouse control and then there is also the Memory Game, which takes a familiar preschooler game and take it to an easy online format.

JUNIOR PRIMARY SCHOOL
Count Us In
This show introduces children to the basic mathematical concepts and language. It also has a great online game site, which would suit preschoolers up to about grade one children.

For the Juniors
An informative show, that has been developed using National and State curricula to help teachers and carers integrate the programs & activities into the classroom. This may sound like they are a little dull, but my children enjoy these shows.

This weeks topic is Transport and my kids, like most kids I think, like to know how things work. They also have fantastic background information and related activities for you to do with your child.

UPPER PRIMARY SCHOOL
Behind the News
Behind the News is a news and current affairs program aimed at upper primary and lower secondary students. Each program is built around major news stories of the week, providing background information not usually given in news bulletins. Thinker has inherited my love of current affairs and he really enjoys this show and has even subscribed to their free podcasts. Quite often I learn something from this show too!

The BTN website is very comprehensive. It provides transcripts from the shows, quizzes and games and teacher/parent resources.

For more educational type programs, check out the ABC Schools TV Guide. There are some interesting and thought provoking programmes for the kids to watch, as a parent I just have to seek them out.

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In my Internet travels this week, I came across the above title, which I just had to investigate further. This is actually the name of an e-book written by Jim Hancock, which is currently free to download from “the tiny company called me” website .

For those of you who are not familiar an e-book, it is the digital media equivalent to the traditional printed book. It can be read on your PC or as in this case can be printed out from a PDF file if desired. This e-book in question is down loadable in chapters, beginning with the introduction and then a separate chapter for each thing, that as parents we should never say to our kids. They are as follows:

THING 01: Do You Have Your Jacket-Homework-Gym-Bag-Back-Pack-Ticket-Keys?

THING 02: What Were You Thinking!

THING 03: Because I Said So.

THING 04: You Are Such a Pretty Little Thing.

THING 05: I’m Proud of You!

THING 06: You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To.

THING 07: Let Me Tell You What Happened Here.

THING 08: That’s Not How You Do It.

THING 09: Don’t Make Me Turn This Car Around

THING 10: I Give Up.

The chapters are on generally over 20 pages and I have yet to read all of them. I went first to the ones which I have to admit, that I do sometimes say to my kids:

THING 04: You Are Such a Pretty Little Thing.
I am not sure if it is because she is the only girl out my four children, or if it is because of her wild curly hair, but I do have a tendency to tell Possum how gorgeous she is quite often. (I think this falls pretty much into the same as category as pretty.) As soon as I read this headline comment in the chapter it, clicked to me as to why I should not say this:

“Thoughtful affirmation is always better than empty praise.”

For a long time I have adhered to the above philosophy, but for some reason, I had not translated it across to me commenting in general on how I think she looks. Instead of saying you look gorgeous, I could tell her something along the lines of “I like the outfit you’ve put together.” Reprogramming myself always takes some time, but I will make a concerted effort to drop this phrase. I do not want Possum to associate her worth to me just on how she looks.

NB. I do also tell the other kids that they are gorgeous, but probably just say it a little more to Possum.

THING 05: I’m Proud of You!
I say it to them, because I am very proud of all of them, but after having a read of this chapter and reflecting on my own feelings on being told this, I can understand why it may not be the most helpful thing to say to a child. Jim Hancock sums it up succinctly by saying:

“I don’t think we should ever give children the impression that making us proud is the point of their lives.”

He follows this with a quote from the poet e.e. cummings:

To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”

I aim to read more of the chapters over the next couple of weeks. There is some very thought provoking comments within the chapters and if you have ever wondered about what impact you may be leaving on your child, I would encourage you to visit “the tiny company called me” website and have a look at what Jim Hancock has written.

Coming across information like this reminds me that parenting is not unlike a journey. For me this is a point to refuel with some new information and try a new path.

Technorati Tags: communication, parenting

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Last week it was the toy shelf, this week I have been reorganising the children’s drawers and wardrobes. It an ideal time to do this job, as all the shops have started to stock their winter range, so I need to sort out what we each child has and what, if any new items they will need for the upcoming autumn/winter.

DRAWERS
I try to encourage my children to dress independently and this means having their drawers and wardrobes easily accessible. It is easier with the two older boys as they have smaller drawers, but Possum has only two very large drawers, which means once she has had a ruffle through things to find what she is looking for, it is often left in quite a mess. To solve this problem I have placed shoe boxes and cut up nappy boxes in her drawers, to create separate, defined areas. She has a defined area for socks, underwear and pyjamas in her top drawer. In her bottom drawer, there are separate sections for tops, bottoms and her Metallicus stuff. I have been doing this for few months now and it has worked very well for both of us, in that Possum can easily find what she is looking for, and she can also put her own clothes away in their right spot.

ALLOWING FOR INDEPENDENT DRESSING
Possum has a very eclectic sense of style and has been independently dressing herself since she was two. This initially caused me a great deal of angst, because the combinations of clothes that she would put on, were often far from what I would have liked her to be wearing. I would try to get her to change, but this would end up as a battle.

In some of her more unusual outfits, I would comment to other mums along the lines of “Don’t mind Possum, you can tell that she dressed herself this morning.” One day a mum responded to this in a light hearted manner, saying that “Possum seems very happy with what she is wearing, it seems that mum has the problem.” And this was indeed true. She had beautiful clothes (lots of generous donations of gorgeous hand me downs) and I wanted her to look a certain way. As awful as this is to admit, I was worried about what other mums might think of the way she was dressed. I guess I was seeing her dress sense, as more of reflection of me, than Possum having a chance to dress herself how she wanted.

With this realisation, I took the next opportunity when I was in the house without Possum, to reorganise her wardrobe and drawers. I removed any items that would be particularly difficult for me to live with and decided from this point, not to comment on her outfits, other than to make sure they were weather appropriate. This situation is much more tolerable for both of us. I have realised that the most important thing is that she does it herself and Possum does not have to worry about my criticism any longer. There are still moments when she enters the kitchen dressed for the day and below the surface smile, I cringe a little at the red shorts, purple singlet and pink striped long socks. But she is happy, dressed appropriately for the weather and that is really all that matters.

MINIMISING THE CLOTHES
When I go through the kids drawers, I remove any clothes that will no longer fit the kids, anything that has become to shabby and I also make sure I limit how many clothes are in the drawers.

As I mentioned earlier, we have been the recipient of some generous hand me downs and this can mean that there is quite a lot of clothes to choose from. To make this more manageable, I will only put a particular amount in the kids drawers and then have the remainder on high shelves in their wardrobes. I can then rotate them through their drawers to keep up variety, but without having the drawers over flowing. Having the drawers filled with clothes, not only looks messy and makes it harder for the kids to find what they are looking for, but can also make the decision process seem overwhelming. for the younger children. Less is sometimes enough! Also I tend to find that they all have their favourite items that they want to wear frequently.

WARDROBES
We are lucky enough to have some of the wardrobes in the kids rooms with lower hanging rails, which makes it so much easier for the kids to negotiate selecting clothes to wear and putting them away. I always think that adjustable rails would be perfect as you could move the shelf as they grow, but as we don’t have those, I have to make do higher rails in some of the wardrobes. As it works out, this is only an issue for Possum at the moment. (Little Rascal has lower rails, The Thinker can reach his higher rails and Babagansouki is not at this stage yet.)

Possum has built in wardrobes from floor to ceiling, so we have a non slip stool, in the bottom of the wardrobe that she can easily pull out and use to choose her dresses and jackets as required. (Although this does not have to get used very often at the moment because it is summer and she is really into wearing shorts at the moment and is rarely in a dress.)

When reorganising the wardrobes I like to section the clothing in to like types, eg school/kinder, jackets, sports uniforms, dresses etc. and again taking out anything that does not fit, isn’t worn or is past its use by date.

Here are a couple of other sites that you might find helpful if you too are reorganising the children’s wardrobes and drawers:

The Organized Home takes an overall look at kids rooms.

Oragnizing and Decorating Kid’s Rooms takes a look at closet/wardrobe design.

Zenhabits looks at decluttering closets and drawers (not just kids).

Next week, I will share how I plan my shopping expeditions for new clothes for the kids. Don’t want to miss it? Subcribe to my free updates, by just clicking SUBSCRIBE.

Technorati Tags: children's bedrooms, organising

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(1). Involve them in planning the meals.
Planning meals ahead and avoiding a hectic lead up to meal time is important for me. It means that I am much calmer and in a more jovial mood by the time I sit down to eat with them. By allowing the kids to help me plan, they feel that their needs have been taken into account and there is less dissatisfaction with what I serve up.

(2). Have a set time range for the evening meal.
My children like routine and having a set meal time allows them to know when they will be fed. For us whilst we still have little ones, this means that we eat early. It is easy for the toddler and preschooler to move past their hunger and not eat a proper meal because it is too late. We aim to eat around 5.30pm.

(3). Eat at the table.
This allows the meal to be more family focused with all of us (minus dad, who is still at work on the week days) sitting around the table and it is conducive to conversation.

(4). Have the children to set the table.
It is important for them to understand the work that goes into the family meal. By each having a small job to do, they become more involved in the meal time process. As they get older, I also hope to get them contributing by cooking a meal on a weekly basis.

(5). Serve age appropriate portions.
I went to a parenting seminar run by Tweedle Child and Family Health Services, on eating and toilet training for toddlers a number of years ago. They suggested that when you served up meals for a toddler, halve what you originally put on their plate, then halve it again as this was more likely to be an age appropriate serve. They also went on to explain that a toddler who is hungry will ask for more, but they can be overwhelmed by large amounts of food on their plate.

(6). Turn off distractions.
I love having music on around the house, but even that goes off at meal time, as it can easily distract the children. I also let any phone calls go through to message bank, so that I am not leaving the table and being distracted myself.

(7). Role model appropriate behaviour.
Children will follow the example set for them, so I always try to model the behaviour that I would like them to replicate. For me, someone who is not crazy about a number of vegetables, this means eating those vegetables without complaint!

(8). Encourage conversation.
Meal time is probably my greatest source of information of what is going on a at school and kinder. They have had time to unwind and relaxed a bit, so I find with a few open ended questions, like “What did you play at lunchtime?” and “Who did you play with at kinder?” they start the kids off on interesting stories about their days.

(9). Remove the battle lines.
We have modified our approach to meals over the years. Originally, we used to offer dessert after every meal and I have to admit, it often became a bargaining element, for example “Eat 3 more bites, then you can have dessert.” However as the children got older, they would ask before eating those extra spoonfuls, “What is for dessert?”, to see if it was worth eating those extra spoonfuls or not. The end of meal time could become a battle over how much needed to be eaten.

To avoid this scenario, we agreed then in our family meeting, that we would have dessert twice a week, Sunday and Wednesday and the children would get to eat it regardless of whether they ate their main meal or not. This was under the explicit understanding that once meal time finishes, there is no further option of eating food for the rest of the evening. If the children choose not to eat their meal, I do not discuss it with them, other than to explain to them that it is their decision not to eat their meal.

Their are nights after not eating their meal, that one of the kids (mainly the youngest two, as the older two don’t bother telling me any more) will tell me that they are hungry. I aim to be empathetic, calm and explain to them that they can have breakfast in the morning. This does not always end quietly or without tears, however it rarely happens more than one night in a row and happens infrequently on a whole.

(10). Focus on the big issues only.
To keep the tone of the evening meal light, I try to not comment on every single thing each child does that is not ideal (otherwise that could be the only conversation going on some evenings). I have core behaviours that I expect the children to meet and will monitor those, but if they accidentally slurp their spaghetti, or if the younger ones use their hands occasionally when trying to cut up their food, I let these go. Too much negativity can bring the mood down and close off conversation.

All families are different, but I have found that by doing the above, it means that I actually look forward to meal time with the kids, as opposed to dreading it. How do you manage the evening meal at your house?

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I have had some technical issues (hard drive died ) with my laptop over the last couple of weeks, so it was great to get back my laptop on Friday and to be able to use some of my planning tools again.

Although I post my menu plan on a weekly basis, I actually plan fortnightly. I have created a database of all our family meals and use this system to plan out the meals and the associated shopping lists for the fortnight. I have weekly shopping lists for fruit and vegetables which we buy at the market on Saturdays, a meat list for the butchers (I freeze the meat that I need for the fortnight) and I aim to shop once a fortnight at the supermarket. We are lucky enough to have a delivery service for milk, juice, cheese and eggs which comes twice a week. I buy bread every couple of days from a local bakery, which generally fits in around trips to after school activities.

It is true that you don’t really appreciate something until it is gone, because I missed my database meal planner a lot over the last couple of weeks. I had reverted back to weekly shopping and found my hand collated shopping lists weren’t as accurate as my spreadsheet generated ones, and thus I would forget the occasional essential item. So it was with great excitement that I installed the planner on my laptop again last night and set about collating my meals for the fortnight. I then went and shopped on line to have the groceries delivered Monday evening.

I do like to shop in person myself, but there are times when Mr Infrastructure’s work load is high and he is not home at a reasonable time for me to go out and do the shop. As I do a fortnightly shop, it is just not possible to do it with the kids. Some weeks when I need to stock up on nappies and other large items, I have to split the shopping in two, paying for one amount, going back to the car and then making my way around the remainder of the supermarket.

Here is our meal plan for this week:

Monday: Beef Stroganoff with rice

Tuesday: Pumpkin and feta risotto
I am purposely cooking a risotto, so that I can then make risotto balls with the left overs. The idea was inspired by a cookbook a friend lent me during the week called Apples for Jam by Tessa Kiros . It is the most divine, family oriented cookbook I have seen for some time. And it is absolutely on my wish list - the price tag is a little hefty, but it would be worth every cent.

Wednesday: Pasta with chicken and spinach
Baking: Orange and Poppy Seed Muffins (recipe attached below)

Thursday: Beef Stir Fry

Friday: Tuna Carbonara (recipe attached below)

Saturday: Eating out at the school fair

Sunday: Roast Chicken and Vegetables

Do you plan on a weekly, fortnightly or monthly basis?

Orange And Poppy Seed Muffins

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I made a trip out to the Reverse Art Truck this week to replenish supplies for our useful box. This was part of the rotation of toys that I was implementing at home.

For Australian readers you would be familiar with the useful box from Playschool. Basically it is a collection of items like cereal boxes, egg cartons, cardboard rolls etc that the children can use for construction.

The Reverse Art Truck purchase compliments the items that I collect at home, as they are a non profit organization which collects rejects, seconds and factory offcuts for distribution to schools, early learning centres, community groups and individuals. You can buy membership to the organisation or you can just visit casually and pay $25 to fill a large garbage bag with the odds and ends that they have in stock. You can pick up a great assortment of items which the kids love and I also like to support this organisation as it provides meaningful employment for a number of people.

There are many benefits for the kids to spend time constructing magnificent creations from the useful box. It allows them to work on fine motor skills directly through using scissors, sticky tape, staplers and indirectly through managing the cardboard, paper and other materials to get them into place or mould them into a shape that they need.

These are all skills that my preschooler will need to have (to a certain level) by the end of the year to be ready for school.

The useful box also provides a challenge for me - how best to present all these wonderful creations? We have a shelf in one room that we set some out on and I also put a small hole in some and hang them by hooks on the picture rails in their bedrooms. We were discussing this issue at Playgroup this week and one mum suggested taking digital photos of the work, as this has worked well with her kids.

I have given this approach some thought and am going to try the following:

-Display work for a week or so.

-Then photograph work, insert picture into a word document, adding information like date, time, inspiration and child’s description.

-Print page out and file in their own folder.

-Have child help me pull apart construction, recycling pieces where appropriate for future use and binning anything that is not recyclable.

I’ll let you know if this works!

Technorati Tags: children, craft, parenting

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